We Didn’t Have Time For Adulthood

It’s so weird. I was little. And suddenly, I’m not little. — Waiting For Forever
Shutterstock / Diego Cervo
Shutterstock / Diego Cervo

Teenage girls were scattered on the carpet in sleeping bags. Whispering. Story-telling when the lights went out. Breakfast in the morning featured Cinnabons and sleepy eyes. Crust in the corners. Naps when we got home.

Drama club hosted tech nights on Fridays. Freshman slaved in the pit. Move this piece of wood here, place these props for that show there. Idolizing the upperclassmen. Observing who flirts with who. Which girls are role models. Which guys do we want attention from

Our feet dangled in chlorinated waters at the public pool. Taking photos for MySpace. Discussing upcoming schedules. What this guy said in that online message. What was expressed in between the lines. Will he eventually try to hang out. For real

Pining for holiday breaks. Vacation in the Catskill mountains. Memories lining every hallway of the resort, every bite of food in the dining hall, every snowy tube ride down the hill. Sad goodbyes. Nostalgia for a later time

Double dates were at TGI Fridays. Too nervous to eat the chicken fingers on the plate. Butterflies swarmed my insides like an army ready to attack. Words etched the pages of my journal. Logging in details of my first everything.The kisses. The touches. The mundane. Today we had a blue powerade in the park and held hands. Bubblegum poppy sap. Innocence pre-heartbreak. Pre-pieces-falling-everywhere-on-the-floor-and-it-will-take-a-long-time-to-clean-up

Chemistry homework after school was a drag. Research papers for English and citing sources and not forgetting to attach the bibliography at the end. Wore sweats on gym days to avoid the lockers. Avoid contact sports.

Attended literary magazine at 3 pm and had journalism with a teacher who told morbid jokes. Dark humor. Pure entertainment. First period’s teacher told corny jokes. Being the only one laughing while everyone else stared blankly.

Bells in between periods. Lunch signaled a chance for the outside. Walk a few blocks from the school, feel the sunshine when you can. Cliques formulated. I was not in the popular one.

Antsy for weekends. For Applebees on Bedford Avenue. Lights of the movie theatre on a Friday night. Malls, not for shopping, but for roaming. High school kids were running around like crazy, but we never ventured outside the lines.

The bubble of innocence. Our shield from what was ahead. We didn’t have time for Adulthood. We had quizzes in history class. We had July and August to be silly and free and hot, but we knew where we’d be come autumn. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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