This time last year, I awoke every morning hearing from you, laughing with you, talking to you. June was our month to shine with the summer sun and peacefully retreat at dusk when the sky was a rich, navy blue, hovering above our suburban towns.
When you’d leave, when we’d go our separate ways, there was what could only be described as pure contentment. There was a sense of accomplishment – a feeling that this connection got stronger by the day’s end.
You were a thread, and I was a thread, and these two threads were intricately woven together when June was solely ours. When I think of last June, I envision bright, bold, vibrant colors. Neon orange and hot pink. Red and yellow polka dots. Purple carpets. Colors became heightened, saturated.
I think of indulging in spumoni ice cream late at night, swirling the chocolate, pistachio, and banana flavors together with a plastic spoon. I think of “New Slang” by The Shins. Gold teeth and a curse for this town were all in mouth, only I don’t know how they got out, dear…
The Shins remind me of you, of this time last year.
This June is a bit more quiet, met with unwanted silence. Mosquitoes have already bitten my feet, my wrist, my calves. I try to ignore the itch, the impulse to scratch, but I instinctively scratch anyway.
The strong sun penetrated my skin one afternoon; my upper back, my neck, and my right arm are marked by burns. I recall that melodic tune by Pink, the one with the catchy chorus. Where there is desire, there is gonna be a flame; where there is a flame, someone’s bound to get burned. Right.
I discovered the upside to cold showers, though – the cool water alleviates the discomfort and soothes the burning sensation, even if it’s only temporary. Ultimately, however, these burns will heal. They will eventually fade, no longer affecting me in the ways that they do now.
We may have burns or scars from certain wounds – burns or scars that have dared us to grow and transcend the hurt. And after they heal, these imprints may still be present, becoming a part of us.
It’s really how we carry them that matters.