Why Women Should Make The First Move: How Feminism Helped My Love Life

Shutterstock/Ammentorp Photography
Shutterstock/Ammentorp Photography

Growing up I knew what feminism was and I embraced it. Even as a child, it only made sense to me to want to be equal. I became that obnoxious student who corrected the teacher every time he said man instead of human.

I was my mother’s mini me. My parents divorced when I was seven and my mother dove back into school and fought her way to graduation as a single mother. There wasn’t anything that woman couldn’t do. It wasn’t until my early twenties that I truly saw and appreciated how her views had shaped who I am.

I am fiercely independent and have never thought twice about doing something on my own. My strong opinions and love of rowdy debates tend to scare most men off, which is quite all right with me. I had role models growing up who showed me that I deserved to be confident, opinionated and successful in whatever area I venture into. I admired the women who said, “fuck you” to gender roles and did what they wanted.

When I saw a handsome man across the bar (oh so classy, I know) I didn’t hesitate to walk over to him and get his number. Social norms and expectations should be thrown out the window. You’re a powerful woman. Hell we got the right to vote so we most certainly can go after any man we choose.

The days of pining away for a suitor to come sweep you off of your feet should be left in the dust. Most men (the ones you’d want to date) appreciate a woman who is comfortable in her own skin and has the confidence to approach him. And why not? Men have long had all the pressure on themselves to call, text, plan, pay so why not make it equal.

Bar boy soon became my boyfriend (together two years now) and I started off our relationship on equal footing. I approached him first, he planned the first date. I paid on the first date and he paid on the second. The dynamic hasn’t changed much since then and we both share chores and finances. We are equal. He respects my opinions and need to debate and we both grow from being together.

Women can do anything men can do and it’s time to be assertive. Knowing your worth and having a solid foundation of who you are will help you to navigate the dating world and truly go after what you want. If a man can’t handle your direct and confident approach well then leave him in the dirt, you’ve got better things to do. Now go on with your bad self. TC mark

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