10 Things I Learned From Living In Miami

1. “Miami-Dade.”

A lot of people I know where I’m from just think of Miami as South Beach, tits and ass…so on and so forth. However, it’s actually Miami Dade County. Stretching from North Miami Beach/Aventura to Homestead/Florida City. People have this whole view of Miami that is so WRONG. South Beach is so small compared to the rest of Miami. Miami is so much more than Lincoln Road btw.

2. It’s okay to go to beaches nude.

As long as there aren’t any children around I say if you got it flaunt it. As long as you don’t mind creepy old men sneaking pictures of that Brazilian wax job you got last week.

3. Weed isn’t as bad a people make it out to be.

Or should I say, “Weed isn’t as bad as grown ups make it seem.” I’m not talking about 21-year-old grown ups like me, I’m talking about my mother, my father, and all those members of congress who want to keep weed illegal. Weed is OKAY. Miami isn’t really a “weed” type of place like California for instance. But, really? If you haven’t tried it then I don’t see a way to explain it other than taking a puff of weed (peer pressure, peer pressure) isn’t as bad as snorting cocaine, doing XTC, or taking bath salts…those two things have Miami written all over it.

4. Hispanics, Latinos, Islanders are the sexy.

I didn’t need to live in Miami to find this out, living here just confirmed it. I’ve seen just about every type of hispanic that exists because they all just loveeee Miami.

Before I go on, calm down, I know I am using the term “hispanic” loosely.

There are so many different types of Hispanics/Latinos/Islander who come from Spain, Cuba, South America and they all have some beautiful people. White, Black, Native American, some even Asian-looking. Unlike other ethnicities (like Germans, Koreans) who are less mixed with different races, there are so many diverse looks in the Hispanic culture based off of which country they are from and the history of that country resulting in some sexy as hell people.

5. Know your hispanic.

There is actually a huge difference between a Dominican, a Mexican, and a Cuban. Don’t mix them up.

6. Cubans are racist.

Yeah, I said it. Seriously, almost every single Cuban I know, and trust me I know a lot, is racist. More specifically they just don’t like black people very much, or EVERY other latino. My boyfriend is Cuban so I am around his family a lot and they always have something negative to say about another Hispanic or Latino race. Cubans are also horrible at hiding their facial expressions, especially the older ones, those “first-generations,” I like to call them. So when a Venezuelan walks into a room full of Cubans…you can cut that tension with a knife.

7. Vodka anyone?

I don’t know how I’ve survived so long without becoming an alcoholic. Want to go out this weekend? Sure! Okay, let’s pregame. Friend then brings entire bottle of Jamaica Rum over and says that’s “pregaming.” Alcohol is everywhere. Literally. On highway signs, on buses, underneath your best friend’s bed. These people party. Lesson learned: In Miami when you go to a party (unless its one of those xXx ones…blah) you can never bring enough alcohol.

8. If you don’t speak Spanish, don’t come to South Miami.

In my area: Kendall, Sweetwater, Doral, Westchester, you will have a hard time getting by if you don’t know Spanish. I don’t speak Spanish and therefore I can’t get a serious job anywhere. Most places want you to be bilingual and funny thing is that I am! However in Miami bilingual means that you speak English and Spanish not English and German. I’ve literally gotten yelled at work because I don’t speak Spanish. Most Hispanics in a South Miami feel really entitled to bitch to non-spanish speakers about not learning Spanish. They have egos that I misunderstand as much as their accents. Oh, and the whole argument “We are in America learn English,” argument doesn’t work. I’ve tried it.

9. Driving brings out your inner animal.

I genuInely feel like when people drive in Miami they turn into beasts, savage animals who see only their car and the road. What elderly woman crossing the street? Driving in Miami is like going outside during a zombie apocalypse you have to come out prepared. Every one of your senses has to be alert. Danger is just around the corner, you have to be ready to overcome it, do you know why? Because people in Miami can’t fucking drive. Stop lights, stop signs, yellow lights, school zones without police..pshh, what school zone? The rule on these streets is fuck everyone on the road but you! Also, honk THE SECOND the light turns green even if the are ten cars in front of you that have already started moving. Also, don’t go outside between 3pm-7pm. Traffic Sucks.

10. From the words of Rihanna, “Just live your life.”

I can’t believe I just said that. Yes, it’s true though. Many people here have traveled, they have been apart of something bigger than themselves, they have goals and ambitions that will take them far, they are outgoing and fun, and more open-minded than a lot of the people in my hometown, Shelby, North Carolina. Yeah, they may have their flaws such as driving like they come from a third-world country and speaking with accents thicker than their fake nails, but hey, to each their own. Miami is a fun place to live. My six years living here have been amazing. Miami and its people is a city that I will never forget. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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