I’m the woman everyone refers to as independent. I regularly post articles and memes about being on my own and not needing a man. Because I believe that is true. No one needs a man. Your survival should never be based off the existence of another person, whether romantic or platonic.
However, being an independent woman leads to misconceptions. I have been told that I hate men, I have been told that I will never get married, and I have heard hundreds of other comments along those same lines.
Let me be clear…
Yes, I am independent. No, I do not base my existence off of finding a significant other. But that does not mean I don’t believe in love.
I do believe in love. I believe in love so much that I can’t even bear to talk about it most of the time. In a generation of meaningless hookups and swiping left and right, it’s hard to believe that love could ever exist. But I still have hope. Even if I have not experienced love myself yet.
I believe in connecting with someone emotionally. I believe in staying up late, just to talk to someone you care about. And yes, I do believe in marriage. I always say, if I found someone who ‘got’ me on every level, I would in fact marry them.
I’m not religious and I don’t believe that having a ring on your finger could make a bond any stronger. But there’s something very appealing to me about sharing my life with someone and committing myself to them. I just haven’t found the person who would make me want to do that.
So yes, I am independent. And I always will be. The right guy for me will give me my space when I need it, knowing that it is just a part of who I am. I do not think being single is morally superior to being in a relationship, despite what other people’s misconceptions of me might be.
I am a strong woman. I make my own money, I pay my own rent, and everything I own is because I bought it myself. But that wouldn’t change if I was dating.
Being in a relationship wouldn’t mean giving up a part of myself. Being in a relationship would mean that I have someone along for the ride. Someone to support my crazy dreams and someone for me to support, as well.
We need to get rid of the idea that an independent woman is someone who walks around scowling at every man on the street and has a heart of ice. That is not the case. I write poetry about love, I listen to music about love, and I wholeheartedly believe in love.
And if the right person comes along, I will open up my heart in ways that I have never done before. It takes a special person to bring that out in me.
An independent woman is not a woman who scoffs at the very idea of being in love. An independent woman is a woman who has taken the time to figure herself out and is waiting for the right person to come along.
And while she waits for the right one, she’s perfectly content kicking ass on her own.