woman sniffing flower on her hands

When They Tell You They Miss You, Read This

So they told you they miss you.

It was exactly what you wanted to hear. Sometimes you miss them so much, it physically hurts. It filled your heart with warmth and your eyes with tears to see those words on your phone under their name.

But missing you isn’t enough. Loving you isn’t enough.

I’m not saying they’re lying. They might miss you and love you so much. They might be a wonderful, kind person. But if they’re not willing to step up to the plate, it’s not enough. It doesn’t mean they’re a terrible person. They just can’t be what you need. No matter how much you want them to be, they can’t be what you deserve.

You deserve to be with someone who is 100% sure about you. You deserve to be with someone who isn’t half-in/half-out. Someone who isn’t constantly changing their mind about the relationship. Someone who initiates and keeps plans with you. Someone who doesn’t let you doubt their love. Someone who makes sure you know how valuable you are.

As I’m healing from my own heartbreak, I’m working on accepting that so many things can be true at once. I’m working on using the word “and” instead of “but”. Hear me out.

I love him, I miss him… but it’s not going to work.

I love him, I miss him… and it’s not going to work. And I can be okay. And I can hold love in my heart for him. And I can move on.

I love him… and I know we can’t make each other happy.

I miss him… and I want to talk to him. And I’m going to refrain from talking to him.

It sounds different. It feels different. It’s less black and white. Nothing really ever is just black and white. Someone can be so in love with you and still choose to walk away. And you shouldn’t chase them. You should never have to beg someone to love you or to stay.

So maybe they miss you. And maybe you miss them, too. Maybe you want to jump on a plane and beg them to take you back. But before you do that, center yourself. Is this what’s best for you and your future? You won’t have to jump through hoops for the right person.

songwriter, musician, cat mother, avid acid reflux pillow user

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