Skinny-Shaming Doesn’t Work On Me

Did you ever hear the saying, “Real men like curves, only dogs like bones”?

I missed this memo. Being a naturally thin woman, I’m unsure if my curves technically qualify as “curves.” Still, I have never been hard-up to find a man. That is the great thing about men, much like women— they cannot be put into a box. Do some men prefer curves? Why, yes, of course some do. Some actually care more about personality, and some men even prefer other men. I’m sure all men with thin girlfriends/wives appreciate that you are calling them dogs, and I can speak for skinny girls and say it feels great to be talked about as someone who is only sexually appealing to canines.

Is it really pro-woman to alienate and insult the other half of the female population? A woman with a strong voice who doesn’t want her physical appearance ripped to shreds on the Internet needs to have all social media set to private. They hear that they’re too fat, too skinny, ugly, flat, a whore, and other painfully creative things only a person who doesn’t know the recipient can fathom saying. True, there are unhappy, bitter men that are guilty of harassing women online. However, we can’t be blind to that fact that the majority of this hate comes from other women who are so unhappy with themselves and their lives that they need to bring down anyone they perceive as doing better, looking better, or merely being different from themselves in any way.

If being inundated by images of wafer-think models in fashion magazines is affecting your mental health, do not look. You don’t have to buy the magazines; you don’t have to search the Internet for media that gives you a poor body image. There is a heated debate when it comes to beauty expectations, a sense that society has gone too far with Photoshop and airbrushing. These people are making ads; they are selling a product with beauty and doing their job. Do not teach your daughters that this is normal; it isn’t. It’s an ad, so explain the purpose of ads and move it along.

Did people complain in the 1940s that the women in comics were drawn too thin? You shouldn’t expect models to look like “real women”—they are given a short span of time to get paid to do a job that most women aren’t genetically gifted to do. If we are not born with the natural gift to play a classical instrument or understand mathematics, do we spend years resenting those who are? Do we pick them apart to make ourselves feel better or get upset when we fall short? Humans are universal in that there are certain things we will never be. If you were to tell an average 16-year-old girl she will never be a model, it will most likely devastate her far more than telling her she will never be a doctor.

Let’s just cut the bullshit on all accounts: Don’t be fat, because it isn’t good for you and will more than likely give you a poor body image. It is hard for many to lose weight to conform to a standard that society deems appropriate. But there is a line between being overweight (yet healthy) and taking no personal responsibility for your health. It is not doing you any favors—physical or mental—to rely on quotes that circle the Internet to further your denial and lack of responsibility for your own body. You should not look your best to please men; you should look your best to please yourself. That may be the biggest issue with women of our generation—they aren’t pleased with the way they look, and they constantly are compared to others. In reality you are doing most of that comparing yourself. If you happen to find yourself with a man who compares you to other women, it is time to find another man.