Having a Vagina is No Picnic, But It’s No Jail Cell, Either

PathDoc / (Shutterstock.com)
PathDoc / (Shutterstock.com)

Feminism has been widely discussed recently, and overall I’m pretty disgusted by it. I guess any publicity is good publicity, but this all feels like what happens when an ignorant radical gets the mic on a local news broadcast. I read opinions by so-called feminists on the Internet, and all I’m seeing is the same spewing of the nonsense they supposedly stand against. As a reader of legitimate news I am supposed to care which celebrities classify themselves as feminists and which do not? We attack those who say they aren’t and criticize those who are; isn’t this a personal belief?

What exactly are we fighting for? Equal pay for equal work? I am on board with that. Slut-shaming I am less on board with. Who of sound mind from this generation really feels that women are inferior? In an attempt to be politically correct, feminists are taking away all the fun words to say. A word is only negative if you mean it negatively. Why can’t I call my friend a dumb bitch when she’s being a dumb bitch? Why are we so sensitive all of a sudden? We are becoming the porcelain dolls that we once fought so hard to smash.

Everyone is the enemy of the modern-day feminist. There is a rapist behind every dark corner; even worse, there is a person telling a joke about rape right behind him.

Women are told to be scared victims, implying that they are defenseless against all the predatory men in their lives. We hear about domestic violence and read numerous articles on “why they stay.” All those articles really say is that she was scared. Understandable; lots of things in life are scary. The idea that you have an average of 80+ years in the same body is daunting enough. Imagine you spent a majority of them miserable or controlled.

Even worse, imagine those years were cut short because of the situation you found yourself in. When you finally come to the realization that this is it, this is your body, this is your life, you have a choice: Give up and suffer for as long as it takes, or be strong and reclaim the majority of your time that is still ahead of you. There is no excuse for a man to abuse a woman in the same regard that human beings should not abuse anything.

So let’s all collectively stop saying that “there is no excuse”—agreed, bad stuff is in fact bad. Let’s take the select bad men that we are talking about out the equation. While we are at it, let’s expand “bad men” to bad mothers, fathers, friends, etc., because abuse is not only spousal. Let’s take all these negative factors out and see what we are left with—women who are broken down and scared.

We see this too often in young marriages where the wife depends on her husband entirely for income. This is an issue women can fix themselves with work; it is never too late. Don’t marry the first guy you meet. Don’t assume that the choices you make at 16 will be the same choices you would make as a full-on adult. Do not a force a man into marriage; do not trick him, do not trap him, and do not suffocate him. If it is clear you do not make each other happy, end it. There are things substantially worse in life than the notion that you will end up alone.

Having a pussy is not an excuse to act poorly. Stop playing the victim card; it may give you momentary attention, but it will soon turn to pity if you don’t take control of yourself. Girls are capable of going to extreme lengths for attention. Let’s raise our daughters to only recognize positive attention. A woman behaving badly is not an excuse for a man to do the same, and the exact same is true in reverse. If women want so badly to be treated equally to men, they have to accept the same consequences that men do. You don’t get to behave like a caged animal and blame it on your feisty persona. Men and women are both guilty of extreme bouts of irrationality; being an adult means you have to keep that in check.

I am a feminist because I am pro-girl. I know women are equal. I won’t get upset when others who read this call me otherwise. I do not need to go overboard or alienate and categorize men to prove my point. I believe in equal pay for equal work. I believe the only way to truly change the way that the world sees women—or maybe more importantly, the way that women see women—is by doing better for the next generation. Women have the power to teach their daughters and sons and not rely on the media to shape their ideas. Do not try to change a single mindset; try to change an entire mentality. Women need to continue to show they are equal and not just say it.

Being a feminist doesn’t mean that you don’t wear short skirts, dye your hair, or wear makeup. If that’s not what you want to do, don’t do it; but don’t shame the women who do. If you really want to be equal to men, do whatever the hell you want, because they sure do. If you want the power, take the power. Don’t tell me you are a feminist—be a feminist and not just a whiny bitch. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

I’m a 26-year-old writer living in Manhattan. I have some opinions and quite a few theories.

Keep up with Lauren on instagram.com

More From Thought Catalog