Why I Don’t Want The “Ideal” Guy

Every girl, no matter how young or how old, has effortlessly constructed an image and personality of their perfect soul mate, of that guy that would be “ideal” for them. With a little help from Disney movies, what our moms tell us we should look for in a guy, and a sprinkling of high expectations, this dream man is formed in our mind. To be frank, I strongly believe that this creation we have made is ridiculous. This “perfect” man is far from perfect in my opinion, and I think it’s a bit absurd that other people fall for this sort of man in a world full of so many interesting people.

Based on opinions of others and a few rom-coms, I’ve formulated what I have realized is considered to be the “ideal guy.” Looks aside, the #1 must-have man must be sweet, super-attentive, laughs at your jokes, immensely-chivalrous, and willing to kiss your feet. Overall, this man should shower you in an insane amount of romantic gestures, and you should be pleased with this.

Maybe it’s just me, but I really am not about that “ideal guy.”

Although I’m almost 20, and have only dated a handful of men, my experiences on these dates were enough to tell me why I wasn’t interested in a man that was a little too perfect. I recall being on a date with a man who insisted on me wearing his jacket, to the point where said jacket was placed over my own jacket. This resulted in my body sweating and him shivering all the way to dessert. This act of chivalry was far from that to me. In fact, it was ANNOYING! You do not need to shower me in chivalry for me to grow more of an interest in you. On another date, I was faced with endless terms of endearment, countless laughs at my jokes, and me doing all of the talking. Now don’t get me wrong, I love it when people actually find me funny, but I truly DO NOT like it when all a person does is laugh back. I dislike being called “Princess” and “Baby” constantly, because 1) I have a name too and 2) You barely know me. Either these men were trying to give off a good impression on me, or were clearly just too nice.

Now, you must be wondering, what’s so wrong with those types of guys? They seem pretty great! I know that there’s many that may agree, and that’s okay, but to me, I enjoy the complete opposite. There is something about men who kiss women’s feet that gives me the chills. I don’t believe there’s a dominant partner in a relationship, but instead, we are both equals. There should be an even give-and-take. Relationships are not a one-way street. I also do believe chivalry is a thing of the past. Don’t get me wrong, a sweet act of love every once in a while is fantastic, but I would choose sarcasm over chivalry in a heartbeat. I strongly believe that a man should be able to challenge your joke with another, or insinuate an argument to get both of your minds going. There’s nothing wrong with a little battle of the minds or wit, which I have barely seen in my years of dating and meeting men.

Who knows, I may be the only one out there spewing my thoughts out on Word about how I dislike the “good guy” or “man of every girl’s dreams,” but I’m okay with that. I stand my ground with saying I want a man who will open the door for me, but slap my ass as I walk in. I want someone willing to push me, to ask for things, to joke with me as I joke back. If you’re out there, come and find me. I’ll be here, writing about you, my “ideal” guy. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

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