How It Feels To Fall In Love With You

I’m still falling in love with you, and I haven’t yet hit the ground. I’m almost there, though.

I would sometimes catch you just looking at me. Not in a creepy, unsettling way, but definitely a lustful way. You wanted me, and I knew it, but I didn’t yet want you.

But then I noticed something interesting. I’d subtly make eye contact, just for a moment, and your eyes wouldn’t flicker one bit. It was as if you were thirsty for my gaze, as if that connected second defined something more than just physical attraction, but a destiny for something more.

You made a fumbling play for my heart soon after, and you got in my head. You had me. Your persistence didn’t go unnoticed, even if it was attempted at the worst possible time.

“Those other girls, they’re not you,” you drunkenly admitted. I told you I was sorry, and that the timing wasn’t right while stroking the hair out of your beautiful face. It was the truth, and the truth was a bitch.

Even though it was unpredictable and somewhat unfitting, looking back to that early phase of you still excites me. It was during this time that I discovered a side of you that I truly adored. I just wanted to know everything about you, and I still do. From your biggest fears to your relationship with your parents, I want to know everything and anything in-between. Give me the dirty details; I’ll love you more, I promise.

Even though you can be moody and impulsive when you have your bad days, it could never outweigh how good it feels to simply be in your arms. I’ll melt away as you pull my body into yours and kiss the back of my neck. Your jawbone literally kills me, much like the tone of your deep creamy voice, and the way your jeans fall against your body. Your goofy, yet adorable laugh is delicious.

Falling in love with you feels like my heart could explode at any second, and I remember the first time you made that happen. You smiled at me as I turned my head to face you, and you examined my bare face. I was vulnerable, and you told me I was the most beautiful girl you’ve ever seen. You looked back and fourth from my eyes to my lips, and slowly leaned in to kiss me. It was so simple, yet so powerful.

You’ll never know the shockwave that hit my body at that moment, like a wakeup call reminding me that you were the real deal. Like this could be something great.

Even as I take this fall towards loving you, I’m fearful. I’m fearful because once I’m done falling, you could destroy me. You could throw my heart on the ground and stomp on it, and for the first time ever I’d experience heartache. I’m taking a risk with you, because you’re not the safe choice. We’re running a million miles an hour, and you could decide to walk at any moment, leaving me running away from the only person I’ve ever felt this intensely for.

But you know what? It feels fucking exhilarating, because now that I’m falling in love with you, I wouldn’t want it any other way. This is how it should feel to fall for someone. It’s worth the risk, and shit, if those moments of bliss don’t make you want to put everything into that person, you’ll find yourself catching your footing before you hit the ground. TC mark

featured image – Lauren Treece

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