Throw wine and cheese parties at least once a month to make your friends think you make enough money to actually afford decent cheese (In reality, it’s actually just cut up pieces of string cheese.)
“One night she had eaten a few too many Tacos and she threw up on me while I was kissing her. She then started hysterically laughing and rolling around the room like a little kid on speed. Disgusting, but adorable.”
To the boys who have played me, thank you for teaching me that I am worth more than you will ever be.
F*** the notion that you need another human being to be your savior. You have your own precious and beautiful self. I promise you, that’s all you need. You just need you.
Am I surrounding myself with people who leave me feeling happy or leave me feeling sad?
On Mondays, he will grab me from behind as I attempt to leave for work. He will kiss my hand and tell me to never let go. I’ll tell him I never will.
When you have to make dinner for your family and your parents realize you only know how to make Easy Mac.
When you actually say the exact same thing at the exact same time and people lose their shit.
Go out and buy that dress you’ve been eyeing for months. Grab a friend you haven’t seen in a while and catch up over coffee. Maybe get that haircut you have always wanted but have been too scared to get. No matter what you do, make sure it brings a smile to your face. You deserve that.
“I confronted the girl he slept with while we were still together. Instead of slapping her like I had planned, we ended up both crying over him. Turns out, he cheated on her too. Karma is real people.”