Why Falling Out Of Love Is Scarier Than Falling In Love

couple walking
Vladimir Kudinov

Falling in love is scary, but have you ever fallen out of it? Have you ever one day just looked up at him or her and realized that you felt nothing? Have you ever promised someone forever and then four year later changed your mind?

It’s scary as hell.

Falling in love is nothing compared to that. Sure, you get cold feet. You are afraid to get hurt, but you don’t really think about hurting the other person. Falling in love is the easy part. 

When you fall in love, you get immersed in it. It becomes like an addiction, like a never ending thirst. When you fall in love, you forget to think. You forget all your common sense. You just jump headfirst. Because at some point, you give up your questions and what ifs and maybes. At some point, you just give in to love.

And then the two of you are in love and it’s magical and you feel like you’re dreaming. It’s not perfect, but no love is. It’s learning something new about this person every day and exchanging smiles and inside jokes when you’re in a crowded room.

Falling in love and being in love is the part that everyone wants. It’s the part that makes a love story, a fairytale. But fairytales end in happily ever after. Fairytales end in magic. And real life? It’s not a fairytale.

Suddenly, the little laugh you used to love about them, becomes annoying. Suddenly, the way they look at you now makes you feel small, not big. Suddenly, they are picking fights out of nothing. Suddenly, you’d rather be alone than be with them.

One day, they are your sun and your galaxy and your universe. And the next day, you don’t know what they are to you.

Maybe they didn’t do anything wrong. Perhaps you didn’t do anything wrong either. Maybe it just happened. Slowly, so slowly, that you didn’t even notice the little red flags and warning signs.

One day you were a couple, thinking of forever. The next day, you are strangers. You don’t know how it happened. Was it something you said? Was it something they did? Can you fix it? Can you mend this broken partnership?

How do you make it like it used to be? How do you get back to the good parts? To the magic parts. How do you get back to the love part, instead of the end part. How do you get back to the fairytale in reality?

It’s terrifying. How something you were so sure about can one day become a question mark instead of a period. It’s cruel, it doesn’t make any sense. You can’t even explain it. But real life doesn’t make sense. And sometimes love doesn’t either. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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