When Your Forever Person Leaves

girl sitting on bench
God & Man

Sometimes, love will never be enough. And no matter how much you love someone, and no matter how much you want them to be in your life forever, they still will have to go.

They stood by you through your best and worst moments. They held your hand when you didn’t know where you were going. They walked beside you through your mountain climb and your downhill spiral.

Their face gave you hope and their smile made you feel like you could accomplish anything. Their laugh gave you goosebumps. Your favorite song was how they said their name, like you were their favorite song too.

For a long time you two were inseparable. Your friends called you two soulmates. You cooked together, read together, laughed together and kissed one another with so much love.

You loved him or her. And you swore to yourself that it was forever. How could it not be forever when everything was so picture perfect? And even when you fought, you still kissed each other goodnight, I love you’s echoing down the halls.

You stopped imagining life without them because the idea seemed so foreign to you. You planned out your life with them, the little house in the country side or the tiny apartment in the big city. You daydreamed of waking up beside this person every single day and never getting tired of it. You imagine forever with them because it seems so goddamn right.

And then out of nowhere, they left. And all at once you feel sick, like the air has been sucked right of you. You can’t breathe or think or eat. You can’t do anything.

They were supposed to be forever. They were supposed to marry you. They were supposed to be the one. How could this happen? How could they just leave? Didn’t they know that you were their forever?

You were supposed to grow old with them. You were supposed to settle down with them. To have their kids. To love each other every single day. And now that fantasy is gone. For good.

So what do you do?

You breakdown. You cry an ocean for them. You don’t sleep or take care of yourself. You don’t talk to anyone. You sit in bed for days, not wanting to move. You pray you’ll one day wake up from this nightmare.

You feel like you might die. What’s a life without him or her? How could you ever be happy without them? It’s impossible. It’s never going to happen.

Get angry. Throw away the pictures of the two of you together. Fall on the ground, shouting and cursing their very existence. Curse the day you met. Curse the day you fell in love. Promise yourself to never fall in love again.

Manage to get up the next morning and drag yourself to work or to class. Laugh when your coworker says something funny. Realize that you’re laughing and smiling. Without this person. Without your person.

Keep on going and walking. Keep on laughing without them. Keep on learning how to live without the love of your life.

And don’t ever stop falling in love. With new places, with new people and with yourself. This person was immensely special to you. This person was your world. But now, you’ve got to navigate it all by yourself. You can do. And slowly but surely, you will come to find that life isn’t so bad after all.

Never stop climbing. Never give up on love again. You’ll find it when it’s right. And one day, some day, when you least expect it love will come into your life and won’t ever leave youTC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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