To My Fellow Women, Life Isn’t Just About Finding Your Forever Person

girl with long hair
Nicolas Prieto

Life is so much more than that. It’s so much more than settling down. It’s about so much more than getting a sparkly ring on your finger. It’s so much more than finding another human being to love.

Life isn’t just about giving your heart to a significant other. No, the ultimate goal should not be to be a fiance or a wife. You shouldn’t be searching the ends of the earth to find someone. You shouldn’t be basing your happiness and joy on someone else. The ultimate goal for your life, should be to simply be happy. And to be happy, with yourself.

You have so much time. You have so much find to find the person you are going to spend your life with. And in fact, you have time decide if you even want to settle down with someone.

Life isn’t about rules. Life should never be about what society expects from you. You shouldn’t base your worth on the boxes you have or haven’t checked off your list. You shouldn’t base your worth on what your parents want from you, or your friends, or anybody. This is your life, right? So act like it.

You don’t have to do anything. Just like you don’t have to get a college degree, you don’t have to marry someone to be happy. You don’t have to get engaged. You don’t even have to find your forever person if you don’t want to.

You don’t have to follow the crowd. You can set yourself free from the weight that society sets on your shoulders. You can move. You can buy a plane ticket across the country. You can be a dog mom. You can kiss different lips. You can kiss girls and boys and more girls. You don’t have to conform to anything you don’t want to do.

You can walk barefoot across an ocean you have never seen before. You can cross different paths and eat food from different lands. You can move to a small town, and just be at peace with the simple life. You can move to Manhattan and fall in love with the way the city makes you feel. You can do anything you want to do. Truly.

Don’t ever listen to the people who call you unhappy just because you don’t have a significant other or a partner. Don’t ever listen to the people who tell you that you’re missing out.

This is your life. This is your journey. You have one heart, so do yourself a favor and do whatever it is that makes it beat faster and fly higher. You don’t need anyone but yourself, to figure out what makes you feel whole. So live and learn and explore. And don’t ever settle for mediocre. Because you of all people, aren’t mediocre. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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