She doesn’t get her hopes up anymore. And it’s not because she doesn’t believe in love. It’s not because she doesn’t believe she is lovable. She just can’t withstand another heartbreak. She can’t deal with picking up her broken pieces on her own, again.
She doesn’t get her hopes up anymore because she constantly gets rejected, and broken down. She has out herself out there so many times, only to be greeted with question marks or unanswered text messages.
She doesn’t get her hopes up anymore when it comes to dating. When it comes to men. When it comes to modern dating. She is fed up. She’s done. At least for now. At least for the time being.
She honestly doesn’t think her heart will take the hurt anymore.
All she has done in the past is give and give.
She is tired of giving away piece after piece of her heart. She is so exhausted from trying so hard when she never got anything back in return. She is so tired of finding light in someone who didn’t want to be seen. And she is just so tired of believing, when there is nothing left to believe in.
She knows she will find love eventually. She knows she will find the person she is meant to be with when the time is right. But right now, she doesn’t want to be let down anymore. She doesn’t want to get rejected for the millionth time. She doesn’t want to smile at someone and be met with a frown.
So, she’s not getting her hopes up when it comes to love. Not now. Not after so many days of lovely dates and no replies. Not after so many lonely nights where she only had herself to hold. She doesn’t want to get shot down. She doesn’t want to be burned. She doesn’t want to hold out on someone who will just run away, like the rest of them.
All they ever did was burn her. And she’s ready to take care of herself for now. She’s ready to become her own person. Her own soulmate. Her own significant other. Because at least now, she won’t let herself down. At least now, she won’t get rejected by someone she wants to give her heart to.
So she chooses herself today and tomorrow. Love will have to wait. Those boys will have to wait. She’s done giving them her everything when all they do is make her feel even more alone.