11 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You Fear Abandonment

God & Man

1. You make up scenarios in your head, visualizing the people you love most leaving you.

No matter how close you are to them, and no matter how long you have known them, you’re terrified of them leaving you or rejecting you. You always visualize scenarios in your head, that will never happen.

2. You are tentative when meeting new people.

Because you already have issues with the people that you do know, meeting new people is even more scary. You always are trying to find flaws and imperfections in new people, in order to save yourself the heartache.

3. If you love someone, you give so much of yourself all at once.

You give your all no matter what. If you are genuinely in love with someone else, you give them your whole heart and you do it quickly just in case they change their mind.

4. Your past has you convinced everyone will leave.

Maybe your parents abandoned you at a young age. Maybe you had a breakup with your forever person. Maybe you had a friend falling out. Whatever the case may be from your past, it haunts you to this day and makes having relationships with others difficult.

5. It takes you a very long time to trust people.

You keep your guard up and every wall up that you have up as well. It could take you years to finally open up fully to a best friend or sibling. You’re always afraid that if they see all of you, they will be disgusted and disregard you.

6. You’ve never been single for a long period of time.

You hate being alone, and you’re always trying to prepare for the day where everyone loves you leaves or dies or rejects you. Because of this, you always want to make sure you’re in a relationship, even if it’s short lived. It makes you feel like you belong somewhere, even for a little while.

7. You usually get jealous and possessive over friends and family.

When family members or friends do something without you, you immediately want to recoil from them and find reasons to shut them out. You easily feel so left out. People think you’re over sensitive, but it’s just how you’re programmed because you love them so much.

8. No matter how much reassurance you get, you typically sabotage every relationship you have because you think it’s going to eventually go south.

You ruin wonderful relationships, not because you aren’t feeling it, but because you fear one day it will get bad. Even if your significant other pleads with you and tells you that they love you, a part of you thinks it’s too good to be true.

9. Your self esteem is in a danger zone.

Your self esteem has always been low, but as you have grown up and had relationships and breakups and heartaches, it has plummeted. You never think you’re good enough for anyone and you continually question why people even hang out with you.

10. As a child, you were terrified and traumatized whenever your parents left you at school.

You were always the type of kid to cry whenever anyone left you. When you were out of your comfort zone without familiar people, you panicked. You never wanted the people you loved to go, even for a second.

11. You experience FOMO all the time.

Your fomo struggle is SO real. In our day and age, you see what everyone is doing constantly and you can’t help but feel like complete shit when people do things without you. You automatically assume it’s because they don’t like you. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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