1. You’ve already been dealing with panic attacks that leave you exhausted at the end of the day.
You already have a long history with anxiety and panic attacks. You’ve always struggled with it, but you’ve never had panic attacks that changed your thoughts. Now? These panic attacks are more than just physical.
2. You’re always terrified that one day you will lose your mind.
The most thing you worry about obsessively is losing your mind or going insane. (Rest assured, the fact that you’re worried about this means you AREN’T crazy) But, it’s terrifying to visualize yourself ending up in a mental hospital or psych ward.
3. Sometimes the thoughts you have are intrusive. You can’t help it.
Sometimes you have thoughts that are so alarming and out of left field, you don’t know where they come from. For most people, we all have intrusive thoughts but for people with OCD, you obsess over the thoughts until it’s all you think about.
4. These intrusive thoughts can be quite terrifying.
These thoughts can be violent ones about loved ones. They can be sexual or even about self harm. You don’t want to do any of these things, and it makes you feel like a terrible person for having these thoughts. As scary as these thoughts are, they are just thoughts and they won’t hurt you. They are NOT desires or wishes.
5. Negative thoughts haunt you day in and day out.
Some days you are thought free and anxiety free. Other days you are plagued with them. It makes you want to isolate yourself until they go away for good.
6. When you have panic attacks, you are positive you are going crazy.
Your mind makes you think that one day you WILL go crazy and you will never be the same. Tell yourself that this is NOT true. It’s just your anxiety and your OCD manifesting together.
7. You don’t feel like yourself anymore.
Ever since you’ve come to the realization that you have ‘Pure OCD’, you’ve felt off. These thoughts aren’t you. They aren’t genuine. They come out of nowhere. And you feel ashamed about them because you think it’s your fault.
8. You don’t trust yourself.
You walk on eggshells wherever you go and whatever you do. Even though in your heart that these OCD tendencies and thoughts aren’t true to you, you still have a part of you that’s scared you’ll act on them and snap.
9. You’re terrified to tell people about these thoughts because you don’t want them to think you would actually do any of them.
It’s embarrassing and scary to admit that you have these thoughts that pop up in your head when you don’t believe in them. You aren’t crazy or psycho or a serial killer. It’s an illness. Get the help you need.
10. To relieve yourself from these thoughts you have certain rituals you do to calm yourself.
You do whatever you can to get these thoughts out. You clean your apartment from top to bottom, or you eat, or watch a funny movie. Perhaps you take hour long showers to try to rinse these thoughts out. Anything to relieve yourself of them for a second.
11. Anxious thoughts start the second you wake up.
They cycle of worry begins as soon as you start your day and it’s infuriating. You’d do anything for a calming and soothing day, instead of always being so terrified of the world.