Thought Catalog

This Is How You Pushed Her Away Without Even Realizing It

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Roksolana Zasiadko

You pushed her away by not being the man she used to know. By not being the man she used to love and adore and give her heart to. You pushed her away, by not being good enough. By not being a better man.

You pushed her away slowly. It didn’t happen the first time you forgot your anniversary or the time when you canceled important plans with her. It didn’t happen the second time you snapped at her after a bad day at work or when you rolled your eyes when she asked you for help.

But it happened after a while. After your mistakes turned into patterns. And after she was burned out. Burned out from all of your cancellations. So tired of your remarks and your fighting and your distance.

Because the thing is, you always fought with her. But you never fought for her. And you never fought for your relationship.

You pushed her away and you didn’t even know it. You couldn’t see the light dimming in her eyes because you cared too much about yourself. You couldn’t see the sad smile she tried to shine at you even when you weren’t looking. You couldn’t see her hurting. You couldn’t see her heart slowly shutting you out.

She tried to tell you. She tried to make it clear. That you needed to be better for her. That you needed to be the person who she thought you used to be. That you needed to care more. To pay her more attention. To just love her and show it.

She tried to make you care. She tried to make you love her. Or at least seem like you loved her.

But all you did was fail. You failed her. You failed your relationship. You failed yourself. Because while she was slowly hurting all alone, you thought everything was fine.

You thought she would put up with your ways. You thought she would stick by you when you ignored her. You thought she would stay when all you did was show her that you weren’t ready. That you weren’t ready to settle down or make a commitment with her.

All you did was show her that you were not the guy that she used to love.

And so, she had to leave you. She still loved you. She didn’t want to, but she did. she still loved your voice and your smile and your wit. She still loved your touch and the way she felt when you touched her lips. She still loved all of you.

But she knew she needed more. She knew she deserved better. She knew she deserved someone who showed their love instead of just professing it. She knew she deserved someone who wouldn’t dare let them leave. She knew she deserved someone who would never, ever let her go.

So she had to go, you see. She had to go because you never showed her that you wanted her to stay. She had to go because all you did was slowly rip her heart out. And all you did was show her the way to the door. TC mark

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