1. Many people don’t realize you have anything wrong with you.
Because you’re an expert at making sure your anxiety is hidden, when people figure out that you have it so intensely, they are shocked. You put on a facade to make none of your loved ones find out your deepest secret.
2. You do everything in your power to look like you’re fine on the outside.
You flash a bright smile whenever you are with your friends, even when it’s hard to breathe. You fidget and shake your legs to distract yourself from the intense panic you feel in crowds. You fake being sick when you’re in the midst of a panic attack. No one has a clue, and you want it to stay that way.
3. Your anxious habits come out when you are alone.
You bite your nails until they bleed in the dark when you’re alone in your own apartment. You tear at your cuticles and tear up from trying not to overthink and over obsess. You let your anxiety come front and center when you are alone.
4. You are a master at covering it up and lying to your loved ones.
Even to your best friends, you put bandaids on your fingers and tell them asthma is the reason you are having breathing problems. You cancel and reschedule plans if you can’t get out of bed and fake sick. You would never want anyone to ever worry about you or voice concern.
5. You don’t go out often, but when you do, you seem happy and go lucky.
You save up your energy for the rare times when you go out. And when that happens, no one noticed anything wrong because you have put on your face. You like to spend most of your time alone to let your anxiety breakthrough, so when it’s time to do something social, you have enough strength to get through it .
6. Having other people worry about you, makes you even more anxious.
Having other people voice concern about your mental and emotional health makes your panic spin out of control. For them to see your struggle and see what you have to go through every day just to get through life is terrifying for you. You would rather save them from seeing you like that.
7. You know you have a problem, but you will do everything it takes to make sure no one finds out.
To tell someone you have a problem would lead to your life crumbling apart. You want so badly to get better, but you don’t want anyone that you care for be burdened by your illness.
8. In your head, you think you can figure it out on your own.
You know you need help but you are convinced you can handle it on your own. You do a lot of research in your alone time and practice breathing techniques. But in reality, you need to tell someone. And you need to let this go and let this burden not be so heavy on your chest.
9. You ask way too many questions.
For every event or gathering you go to, you ask questions about detail after detail. People notice how much you obsessed over every little thing, but you can’t help but feel like you need to know what’s happening at every second of the day. You love being control, and hate being out of the loop or feeling underprepared.
10. You’re incredibly sensitive.
You are known as a people pleaser. You are incredibly sensitive to how people perceive you, and what people say about you. You want everyone to think you’re ok and you want everyone to like you. When someone has an issue with you, you freak the hell out and beat yourself down.
11. You have to talk yourself down from panicked and negative thoughts.
Because you have told no one about your mental illness, you have to resort to yourself for help. You constantly talk yourself out of panic attacks and racing thoughts. Sometimes, it doesn’t work and sometimes it does. But, it’s exhausting to do it all by yourself.