This Is Why She Will Never Give You A Second Chance

Twenty20 / @criene

She’s not going to listen to you when you call her after it’s been years since you left. She’s not going to text you back or leave you a tearful voicemail. She isn’t going to beg for you now. At least, not anymore.

You see, when you left her, you took a piece of her heart. When you left her, you didn’t do it out of respect and honor. You did it out of fear. You didn’t run because you found someone better. You didn’t run because you got bored.

You ran because you knew that she was the one for you, and you got afraid. You became a coward. And you turned the handle and didn’t look back.

And now that you’re back, you’re expecting her to drop everything. You’re expecting her to tell you yes. To tell you that she’s been waiting all these years to hear your voice again. You’re expecting her to run into your arms and whisper that it’s always been you. That you are always what she has ever wanted.

But she’s smarter than that. She’s smarter to ever run back to you when all you ever did was break her. She’s smarter to ever run back you, the boy who paper shredded her heart. The boy who chose to leave.

She will never look at you in the same way. She will never open up her heart and drop the walls that you have built for her. She will never smile at you with those beautiful brown eyes, that always seemed to put a spell on you. And she won’t ever love you like she did before. She won’t ever love anyone, like she did before.

And it’s because of you. It’s because of you that she doesn’t trust as easily. It’s because of you that she doesn’t laugh as loudly. It’s because of you that she doesn’t love as brightly. It’s because of you that she doesn’t smile as broadly.

You took something from her the night that you said goodbye. You took a piece of her that no one will ever have again. You took a sliver of her youth. A chunk of her innocence. A token of her hope. A slice of her joy.

And you didn’t even look back. You didn’t even fucking look back.

So no, she won’t ever call you back or text you saying that she misses you. She won’t ever believe a word you say anymore.

She won’t ever forget the boy who took her love and threw it on the sidewalk. She won’t ever forget the boy who took her heart and watched it melt in the summer sun. She won’t ever forget the boy who ran away, and who left her to pick up the pieces on her own.

And I don’t think she will ever forgive you either, so don’t even bother picking up your phone.  TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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