Do You Regret The Day You Left Me?

Sometimes I wonder if you ever look back on me and you. If you ever look back on what you used to have. On what we used to have.

Do you remember how it felt? How it felt like to laugh until the sun came up, our stomachs full of cabernet and too little sleep. How it felt like to look at me and know that I loved you. How it felt to hold my hand inside of yours and know that you were comforting me with just that tiny gesture of affection.

I hope you remember the good parts. The shiny parts without the bruises or the rusting. I hope you remember the days that were light and airy, not the ones that were overcrowded and stuffed with false hope. 

Do you remember what it used to look like? What we used to look like? Like two kids, not knowing anything except for the fact that our love was real. Like two people with nothing in common except for how they felt about one another. Like the greatest sunset you have ever seen, or the most beautiful snowflake you have ever caught between your thumbs, just for a tiny second. That was us. That’s what we looked like.

We looked like love, for a little bit, didn’t we?

I hope you remember the moments where nothing could ever break us apart. The moments where I was the only thing that mattered. The moments when you were the only one I wanted to give my heart to.

Do you remember what it used to taste like to be in love? Do you remember what we used to sound like? Like the salty ocean crashing against the sandy beaches. Like my favorite symphony and your favorite song. Like my light humming in the car, always reaching for your right hand. Like an overdose on love, always having too much fun. 

I hope you remember the little parts that mattered most. The tiny moments where we could do anything we wanted. Where we could be anything we wanted. The nights spent daydreaming about our future, and how our futures would someday collide. I hope you remember the moments where your eyes met mine, and finally, we were safe again.

I hope you remember the magic behind our shy smiles, and the days that I’ll always hold onto. And even if you don’t remember, know that I do. I’ll always remember.

But what I want you to remember most is the moment you turned away. The moment you decided that this wasn’t going to work. The moment you shifted your gaze so you didn’t have to look at me. The moment you saw me crying and said nothing. The moment when everything changed.

I hope you remember it clearly. I hope you see it all now up close, the tears and the mumbling of an apology. I hope you remember how it made you feel. And how it made me feel. Because right then and there was when we didn’t look like love anymore. No, we didn’t look like love at all.

Remember how you turned us from summer into rain? I do. Do you remember how you turned great love into a tragedy? I do.

Part of me wants you to only remember the good from who we once were. Part of me only wants you to remember the lovely days and the even better nights. But another part of me is screaming out to you, do you regret it?

Do you regret the day you said goodbye? And do you think if you could, you would go back and change your mind?