To My Fellow Women, Don’t Treat Him Better Than You Treat Yourself

He isn’t God. He isn’t Hercules. He isn’t a saint. He is just a person.

I know right now you think he is your everything. You think he is the sun. You think he is your gravity, the thing that keeps you from collapsing. The thing that is keeping you from breaking. You look at him and you see your future. You look at him and can’t help but smile, because he is yours.

But please, know that he isn’t what is holding you together. He isn’t what is making your life worth living. He isn’t what is letting you breathe. He isn’t your oxygen.

He isn’t what defines you.

You treat him like gold. You hold him so carefully, so lovingly, with your tender hands wrapped around his body. You tell him how lucky you are that he chose you. That he decided on you. You treat him like a king, as if there is a paper crown on top of his head.

But my dear, you’ve got it all backwards.

He isn’t the royal one here. He isn’t the one who needs to be so carefully taken care of. He isn’t the one that needs those affirmations, the one who needs all that love. He isn’t the one who should ever hold power over you.

Please, do not let him be your universe.

The way that you hold him each night? You need to hold yourself with that same compassion and tenderness. The way you list off things that you love about him? You need to give that same amount of love to your own heart. The way you look at him with bursting compassion and adoration? You need to look at yourself in the same light.

He is not your future. He is not your savior, or your knight in shining armor. That’s you. That is all you.

Do not let a boy become the centerpiece of your life. Do not let a boy become more important than you are to yourself. And do not let a boy take your whole heart, while he gives you nothing in return.

You are the center of your own life. You are your own hero. You are the one to save yourself. You are the one to take care of yourself. Don’t let someone else take that title. Be your own heroine. Be the one to pick your own self up. Be the one to rebuild your own heart.

Be your own light and your own candle when it gets too dark to see.

You can do it, I know you can.

He isn’t the star of your galaxy. He isn’t the main character of your book. That’s you, sweet girl. And don’t you ever forget that you are worth more than just being someone’s girlfriend. And you are worth so much more than being just another storyline. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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