I’m An Independent Woman, But That Doesn’t Mean I Don’t Crave Love

Seth Doyle
Seth Doyle

It took me a very long time for me to get to this place. This feeling of being ok without somebody beside me. This feeling of actually loving life when I’m not in a committed relationship. This feeling of being ok with just me.

I love being single. I love the fact that I don’t have to worry about anybody but myself. I love that I have more freedom than I had at sixteen, eighteen, or twenty-two. I love the fact that I can be on my own, and be incredibly happy with just myself. I love having a girls night and not drunk crying about a dumb boy breaking up with me, or about a boyfriend who moved on too quickly.

I love feeling so incredibly free.

But just because I love being single, doesn’t mean I never feel lonely. It doesn’t mean that on some nights it hits me that I haven’t been in love for a long time. It doesn’t mean that on some days, I look at couples across from me and think to myself, ‘damn, I want that‘.

I am independent and strong and I love my life the way it is. But, that does not mean that I don’t want love. And that doesn’t mean that I don’t ever worry about not finding it.

You can be independent and happily single, while also wishing that you can have a deep and loyal lover. You can be strong and be brave, while also occasionally thinking to yourself that you wouldn’t mind having someone sleeping beside you every night.

You’re allowed to want love. You’re allowed to crave it, to see it and to wish that you had that. You’re allowed to love your freedom, but to also feel lonely when the sun sets at night. 

It’s ok to be love being single, but to also still love love. It’s ok to want intimacy and to want someone to adore. That doesn’t mean you aren’t strong. That doesn’t mean you aren’t enough as you are. And that doesn’t mean you’re a liar for saying you love being on your own.

It is only human nature for you to crave love.

It’s only human for you to see relationships and engagements and think for a minute about the fact that you don’t have that yet. It’s only human for you to want the type of love that doesn’t leave. For you to wish on shooting stars that one day, you could have that undying love and adoration for someone other than yourself.

That doesn’t mean you are smaller of a person. That doesn’t mean you are any less of a beautiful woman. So, don’t be ashamed to crave it and to want it. Don’t be ashamed to love your single life and to simultaneously also want to be in love. Don’t look down upon yourself for wanting what every single human being looks for in this world.

Don’t feel any less of a strong woman for wanting the best thing that anyone could ever have in this life – love. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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