I Am So Much More Than Just A ‘Wifey Material’ Kind Of Girl

Viliman Viliman
Viliman Viliman

I wouldn’t mind getting married. Actually, it’s definitely something I hope will happen to me in the very faraway future. *cross your fingers for me*

Most women dream of their wedding day. They dream of the white dress, the colorful bouquets and the overly emotional champagne toasts. But mostly, they dream of the man or woman they are going to be marrying.

Lately, society has pushed forth the notion that women have to be the ‘good wife kind of woman’ or be the girlfriend who most definitely has ‘wifey material’.

Am I the only one completely baffled by this concept?

Women don’t have to be ‘wifey material’ to be fucking amazing. Women don’t have to be ‘wifey material’ to be a great wife and a wonderful mother. In fact, I reject the whole notion of this ‘wifey material’ nonsense.

Women can be whoever the hell they want to be. Women can do whatever the hell they want to do. I would rather be a strong and badass woman than to gain the invisible crown that so many men want to place on their significant other’s heads. I aspire to be physically strong. I aspire to be mentally strong. I aspire to be able to be happy on my own, and to smile without someone by my side.

Why are we so caught up in what men want? Why are we so caught up in what men want us to be?

To be a good wife, you don’t have to cook every night for your husband. To be a good wife, you don’t have to look perfect everyday. To be a good wife you don’t have to be a stay at home mom. You can do whatever you want, as long as it is fulfilling for you.

Why is love never enough in today’s world?

Choose the significant other who wants you for you. Choose the person who loves how you talk too loudly and who adores the fact that you can’t cook. Choose the person who gives you your on space, and lets you travel the world if that’s what you want to do.

Don’t choose the person who only likes you when you’re ‘polite’ or when you’re in the kitchen cooking him his favorite meal. 

I would rather be real, than to pretend I am something that I am not. I would rather be real, than talk to my husband with perfect manners every night. I would rather be real, than put a fake smile on my face for a show.

And when the day comes when I decide to get married, hell will freeze over before I ever downplay my accomplishments or make myself seem smaller than I am, just to be a ‘better wife’.

It is 2017 guys. 2017. And to be honest, I think we should be focusing on being women, instead of focusing on being someone’s wife. 

Don’t shrink your brightness for a man. Don’t downsize your light. Don’t turn off your happiness for anyone.

Just be yourself. Be messy. Be funny. Be smart. Be independent. Be your own kind of beautiful. And be the kind of woman that you are proud of. At the end of the day, that is all that really matters.

Aspire to be fucking real. To not follow the rules and to not dim your magic. Be your own definition of what it means to be a woman. Aspire to be your own kind of beauty, and to be your own kind of woman, not the kind of wife a man wants you to be. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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