Breaking Up With A Soulmate

We Won’t Always End Up With Our Soulmates (And Maybe That’s A Good Thing)

I started to believe in soulmates when I met him. You know, him. The one who changed it all for me. The one who came into my life and who shifted it. My ‘one’.

I never used to want to believe in soulmates. I saw marriages and relationships fall apart and crumble without warning. I saw couples I thought would last forever, end abruptly. I remember thinking to myself, love is supposed to be stronger than this. I remember thinking that if I ever had a great love, that I would never let it go and I would never let it fade.

As it turns out, love isn’t ever going to be enough. At least not in the right circumstances.

I thought that if I ever met my soulmate, then that would be it. He was going to be my forever. My one and only. My person. But we were young and in college. He moved far away and I was too attached to him to live my own life apart from his.

Our love didn’t change. But our lives did. Our individual lives shifted. And we had to let one another go.

To this day, I still believe we were connected in ways I can’t explain. We were best friends, and each other’s first loves. We were absolutely everything to one another. Sometimes, it’s still so hard to grasp onto the fact that we didn’t make it. Sometimes, it still makes zero sense to me.

Because if we were truly soulmates, we’d make it, right?

But somehow, I don’t think that’s the case.

I still think that he was my soulmate, or at least one of them. And I’d like to think that even though we ended, it didn’t mean that our love wasn’t strong enough. It didn’t mean that our love wasn’t beautiful. It just meant that our time was over. And that wasn’t anyones fault. It’s just what happened.

If you ever get the chance to find a soulmate out there somewhere, treasure it. Treasure them. Love them and let them love you back. But don’t let yourself grow bitter if it ends. Don’t let yourself give up on bigger loves or better loves.

Not everyone is going to be your forever person. Not everyone is going to stay. Some people are going to have to leave. Even soulmates. And it doesn’t mean that love wasn’t real. It doesn’t mean that love wasn’t exhilarating. It doesn’t mean that love wasn’t true.

Be grateful you have truly loved.

Be happy you know what big and beautiful love feels like. And be deeply thankful that you got to experience the kind of love only a handful of people get to be apart of.

Think back on the memories and smile from the warmth it brings you. Look back on him with a smile written on your face and know that even though your relationship broke, you aren’t going to crumble with his wreckage. And know that even though you two ended, you will make sure you will come out stronger in the end.

We won’t always end up with our true loves. We won’t always end up with our soulmates. And maybe those big relationships are just lessons for ourselves. To learn how to love someone with your whole heart. And then to be able to have the courage to pick up the pieces by yourself after it’s over. Maybe soulmates are here to teach us, that we are ok on our own. And that we can be stronger, without them by our side. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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