I used to think that I needed a boyfriend to feel complete. I thought that if I had a boyfriend, then I would have the complete package. And that I would have everything I ever needed in life.

I have always been the type of woman to get into serious relationships. I grew attached easily and then forgot how to be alone. I latched onto whoever I was dating, as if they were my only lifeboat in the Atlantic ocean. But after a while of repeating this same process, I’ve switched from needing a lifeboat, to being my own safety net. I’ve switched from needing a man all the time, to being even happier on my own. 

But the trouble with this previous mindset, is that you will always be in search of something more. You will always be on the lookout for someone. You will never ever be happy with the present moment. You won’t ever be happy with yourself, in the now.

You’ve got to be ok by yourself before you start looking for someone to fix you.

Trust me when I say, you do not need a boy to make your smile grow bigger. You do not a boy to make your heart happier. You do not a boy in December when the cold comes in. You don’t need a boy to heal your broken parts.

You just need you.

If you feel lost or broken, you have got to heal on your own. You don’t need a cover up or arm candy to try to hide behind your grief. You need to get in touch with your true feelings and work on your heart alone. You’ve got to become a whole person without being someone else’s other half.

The truth is, a boyfriend isn’t going to repair your heart. A boy isn’t the solution for all your problems.

Instead of looking for the next guy to cover up all of your insecurities, look inside of yourself. Really focus on what you need and what you desire in your life. Travel the world. Go on a road trip with friends. Talk more with your family. Have heart to hearts with your closest friends. Go out and dance like you are the only person in the room. Really, truly live. 

And after a while, you will realize that you are ok. And you will come to find that you are whole. You are happy. And you won’t feel the need to get fixed by a boy who wouldn’t treat you right in the first place.

And you will come to find that you would rather be whole by yourself, than be a broken shell of yourself with a boy standing by you.