Before You Go, Promise Me One Last Thing

It’s finally done. There aren’t anymore strings attached. I have no hope left for us. You made it clear after weeks of muddy water. We have finally drawn our curtain and we have to take our bows now. But before you go. Before reality sinks in, promise me this one last thing. Promise me that you won’t forget. That you won’t forget what we had and what we went through. Please, no matter what, just don’t forget that.

Promise me you will forever remember the day we met that spring. You told me that I sang well. I asked if you heard me mess up and you said no, of course. Promise me you won’t forget that day you emailed me a picture of lavender flowers and told me that they reminded you of me. My cheeks turned crimson, and I smiled fully knowing that you meant it.

Promise me you will remember that day in August when you asked me to be your girlfriend. You texted me the question, and with shaking fingers I typed back ‘yes!’ And then I listened to that mix cd you made so carefully just for me. Promise me you won’t forget that feeling. That feeling of bliss.

Promise me you’ll always remember the day I told you I loved you.

You fell off the couch, and said it right back. I hope you can always go back to that moment. I hope it can still live on, even though we didn’t last.

Promise me you’ll never erase the times that we kissed. We probably had a million kisses, ones that made time stop and made the world exist of only you and I. Promise me you’ll never erase what it felt like to have my lips pressed on yours, with a taste of I love you, wrapped up in every one.

Promise me that you’ll carry with you our love in your pocket wherever you go. I know you’ll be traveling. You are going to cross borders and oceans and walk on different dirt roads. I know you are going far, far away from me.

I hope you carry with you, the soft way my hand held onto yours.  I hope you carry with you my kisses that have never, ever stopped. And I hope you carry our memory with you, wherever you go in this world.

It ended a long time ago. I know, those memories must have faded from your focused vision. But, whenever you feel lost, and lonely, and feel like you have no home, please remember me as your home. And remember me as someone who won’t ever stop loving you. 

Promise me, you’ll never forget the love that we had. Because when the world seems dark and clouds fill the blue sky, our love still shines through. It always has. And it always will. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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