I thought a boy like you would have a kinder heart. The kind of heart that was accepting and open. The kind of heart that would allow me to get to know all of you. And the kind of heart that would be capable of loving someone. And I guess I thought you would have the kind of heart that would eventually be able to love me, like I loved you.
I’ve met a lot of different kinds of hearts. Hearts that were able to intertwine with mine, and hearts that didn’t have the capacity to even start. You were the kind of heart that I wanted most.
You were the heart that I wanted to love until my own heart stopped beating.
It’s too bad your heart was drenched in too much liquor to be able to comprehend what I wanted. It’s too bad my heart out shined yours, and you felt too small to give it your all. It’s too bad your heart didn’t beat to the same pace as mine, even though I ran marathon after marathon to try to catch up to you.
A boy like you didn’t just walk across my chest. You ran me over, until the only thing left of me was broken pieces. You ran me over, until the only thing I had left was the memory of you.
A boy like you left me with a rearview mirror of shattered moments. A boy like you left me when all I ever wanted was you. All I ever wanted was your love. All I ever wanted was your heart.
A girl like me deserved more. Because you see, I gave you my all over and over again. I gave you my heart even though you kept handing it back. I gave you everything that you should’ve kept. And I gave you my heart that deserved to be adored for eternity. I gave you my muscles and my bones and my cells that deserved to not be dropped on the ground.
A girl like me was fooled. And maybe it was my naivety. Maybe it was my optimism that love could prevail. Maybe it was just my undying love for you that kept me going. After all of this time.
And now I finally know, a boy like you doesn’t deserve a girl like me.
And you never did deserve me. Because I gave you my all when you had nothing to give back in return. I gave you my aching parts begging for you to just hold them. Just hold them. And maybe at first you did. Maybe you tried to meet me at the finish line, and to love me like I loved you.
But a boy like you, could never match up to a girl like me. And a boy with a heart like yours, could never match my own heart. Because my heart is stronger. My heart is alive. And it knows how to keep loving, even after the one person who I ever truly loved, tried to break it.
But a boy like you never broke a girl like me.
And my heart kept on beating, no matter the wreckage it endured from a boy like you.