This Is What My Life Would Look Like If I Had Never Met You

I would still be me. I would still have the same eyes, the same uncontrollable hair, and the same hands. I would still have the same fingers that are abnormally small, and the same mind that never shuts off. I would still have my issues and my thoughts that always turn into worry.

I would still be me. Physically, I mean. It would all be the same.

If I had never met you, I would have the same handwriting, and the same laugh that is way too loud. I would have the same love of coffee and dark chocolate. I would still probably be a hopeless romantic.

But here is how I would’ve been different. Here is how, I wouldn’t be the same. If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have gotten to experience the power of first love. I wouldn’t have gotten to know what it felt like to be able to clasp my skinny fingers into yours. I wouldn’t of gotten the chance to fall head first deep into the rabbit hole, and not ever hesitate. Not even once.

I would’ve never gotten to experience a first kiss that made me question all my other kisses.

I would’ve never gotten the experience of whispering “I love you” to someone and have them say it back so clearly. If I had never met you, I would’ve never gotten to experience what it felt like for someone to be my happiest hello and my hardest goodbye.

If I had never met you, my life would be less rich. Less loving. Less vibrant. If I had never met you, I’m not sure that I would’ve had that powerful, life changing first love that only a few people get to experience.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t be as grown up as I am now. I would have never had to build myself back up from the loss of you. I never would’ve had to wish to have broken bones instead of a broken heart. I never would’ve cried like I have cried over you.

But, if I had never met you, my life would be duller. It would’ve been more white, and less color. My life would have a glaze over it, or a curtain over my head, that blocked light from coming on. If I had never met you, I wouldn’t have gotten to know what true love feels like.

I never would’ve had all the stories and moments, stored in my memory, that I have now.

If I had never met you, I wouldn’t be sitting here, writing this down. I wouldn’t have anything to write about. I wouldn’t have to wake up at 4 am with poetry and rhymes swirling around in my head.

If I had never met you, everything would be different. And for that, I am so grateful. Thank you for giving me the gift of love. And for giving me the gift of a memory. Thank you for giving me moments that I will write about for, forever.