How To Love The Girl Who Doesn’t Believe She Is Lovable

Yana Toyber
Yana Toyber

Here is what you should do. Look her in the eyes, and with pure honesty, tell her how you feel.

You don’t have to give her grand gestures to show her that you love her. You don’t have to give her a dozen red roses, or leave her notes of encouragement. You don’t have to compliment her everyday. You don’t have to love her through tasks and treats.

Love her through the little things.

Make her laugh when she least expects you to tell a joke. Make her feel safe when you grab her hand. Make her feel adored just by a glance. When you intertwine your pinky with hers, notice how  her shoulders relax. Notice how when you hug her, she starts to melt into it. Notice how when you find yourself gazing at her, she catches it and a small smile creeps up into her lips.

When she is silent, don’t ignore it. Ask her what happened. Ask her what you can do. Do anything to help, do anything to make her feel a little less scared. When her silence grows to slow hot teardrops rolling down her face, just hold her. Let her cry. Let her let go of all of that sadness. Don’t wipe her tears away. Let her know she is allowed to feel things.

Let her know it’s ok. And let her know how you are going to there for her, no matter what.

When you grow more attached to her, and are finding yourself falling, don’t take your time trying to avoid her. No matter her response, she will want to hear what you have to say. So when you say, “I love you”, look at all of her and be sure of it. See all of who she is, and only say it if you truly mean it. Do not just say it just to seem genuine. Do not just say it because you feel compelled to. Say it, because, if you don’t, you could burst with your love.

Give her time. She is scared. Because even though she knows you are being genuine, so were the other boys. So were the others. She needs to know you are different.

She needs to know that you won’t leave just like everyone else.

She wants to love you. She does. But, she doesn’t want to love you, just for you to leave. Show her that you are not the kind of person who loves and leaves. Show her that you are the kind of person whose heart is pure. Whose heart beats proudly and honestly. Show her that you take love seriously. You give love the kind of heart it deserves.

Be patient. Be gentle. Her past is full of goodbyes, and tears that have watered countless weeds. Her past is full of open wounds and of half loving hearts.

So, be the person who changes her future. Be the guy who opens her heart up to magic. Be the guy who makes her unafraid to fall deep. Be the someone who she never has to question. Be the person she can finally be open with, because she knows, you will finally stay. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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