Why Loving Yourself Is Far Greater Than The Love He Ever Gave To You
The love he gave you was incredible. Actually, it was more than just that. You fell hard. You felt like you were high off of every drug whenever you were with him. You smiled so brightly when you were in his presence. You always felt safe.
He was your home that you never thought you could find.
But then one day, on an unusually sunny day, he changed his mind. He just left. He flew away. And there you are. On your knees, trying to regain the strength to get up. Trying to regain the strength to even move. Trying to regain the strength to keep on surviving. To keep on going.
Somehow, god only knows how, you make it. You stand up and don’t crumble into the dust he left you with. You stand up and don’t melt from the sun that tries to blind you. You can see, even through your red and bloodshot eyes. You keep getting up, even though it hurts every bone in your body.
You keep breathing through the chemicals that threaten to choke you. You are surprised to find that your lungs didn’t break with grief.
His memories remains in your body. His love still remains. But slowly, his smile starts to fade from the edges of your shoulders. Slowly, his eyes start to fade from the corners of your mouth. And his heart starts to burn off your own. You still hurt, but the worst part is over. The worst part is done with.
And now you walk a little lighter.
You speak a little louder.
You feel a little more.
You feel lighter without him standing on your shoulders. You feel cleaner without his fingers gripping your neck every time you close your eyes. Finally, you don’t see him in the middle of night lying next to you, haunting you.
He is gone.
And this is when you finally find yourself.
The love he left you with stays with you forever. But now, as you walk lighter steps that don’t stomp on the memories of him, you can turn that love from him onto yourself. You had that love in your heart all along. You always had the capacity for holding that much love. You just never loved yourself enough to believe in it. You never had the right amount of care for yourself, until he left you.
He left you.
But you found yourself.