1. Unlike love, donuts are remarkably easy to find. So, if you crave some intimacy with a good old fashioned donut, you won’t need to use Tinder.
2. Donuts are perfectly shaped, perfectly iced, and are never ever ugly. Men on the other hand, can come in odd shapes, can smell like a gym locker, and can be ugly as f*** on the inside and out. Luckily for you, donut filling always looks and tastes beautiful.
3. Donuts are kind. They fill you up with sweet, sweet sugar, and never ever let you down. Do I even need to tell you the god awful things men could do to your heart?
4. Donuts are always there for you. Whatever happens in your life, you can always count on a glazed Krispy Kreme to lift your spirits. Your partner might give you a kiss here and there, but a donut is a sacred piece of work that will never leave.
5. A donut won’t ever judge you. No matter how many you eat, or how much you cry, it will stand by you through it all.
6. Donuts will never ever give you a headache. Your significant other on the other hand, will probably give you a headache for asking “what’s for dinner?” every single day.
7. Everybody loves donuts. But, unfortunately people may not love your partner.
8. Donuts won’t ever cancel your plans, breakup with you, or yell at you. They just want to be loved. AKA eaten.
9. Donuts always smell fresh. You’ll never have to deal with stinky feet or beer burps ever again.
10. Love is very hard to sustain. And falling out love tends to happen. Will you ever fall out of love with a donut? NOPE.
11. Love is unpredictable and could end abruptly. An imperfect lover could change his mind in an instant without warning. A donut is earth’s most predictable baked good. They are always freaking amazing. And you can always count on them.
12. While a partner could grow weary of you easily, you won’t ever grow weary of a chocolate frosted donut, now will you?
13. Donuts and you are always getting back together. In fact, it’s probably the most stable relationship a person could have.