Forgetting You Is Not An Option

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You once asked me why I only
liked sad music
and why I only wrote sad things.
You laughed at the thought of it.
Saying I was the only one in the world
with a love for blue.

Funny thing is –
All I write about is you
and it’s always navy blue and fogged up.
Your laughter still hums to me in the
background as I type away.

And it’s sad.
It’s fucking sad.
Because I used to love you.
And I have a love affair with the sounds of
minor chords that fill me up.
In a way that you never did.

I can’t write about you in watercolors now.
I can’t pretend we are something
that we will never be.
Still.
You are always glowing in the back of my mind.
You are always so damn blinding.

I have to make you into something
that I can latch onto.
I have to make you into something
to hold onto forever.
And into something that won’t be so
harsh.

So for now, you are just a wash of primary.
You are a distant haze.
A blur.
My fogged up rearview mirror.
My tear stained journal.
I could never forget a blue like you. TC mark

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