26 Things That Only Happen To Perpetually Single Girls

Giulia Agostini
Giulia Agostini

1. You decide to grow your leg hair out for long periods of time. And you don’t really give a crap.

2. Being a third wheel is your new found hobby.

3. Treating yourself becomes a thing that you do so frequently, you wonder why there aren’t more single people in this world.

4. You become a master stalker of any cute guy you see on Tinder. You could probably find their Twitter, Facebook and Instagram with your eyes closed.

5. You become more invested in TV show relationships rather than your lack of one.

6. Your playlist on Spotify evolved from sad, indie music to girl power anthems that you blast on repeat. #runtheworld

7. You frequently dream about one day auditioning for The Bachelor. Really, what’s the worst that could happen?

8. Your best friends turn into two hot guys named Ben and Jerry. And they taste better than any guy you have ever dated.

9. Your weekends turn into a two day celebration of single hood with your best friends. And lots of wine.

10. You forget what it’s like to care about someone other than yourself. And you kind of like only taking care of yourself.

11. During the holidays, your relatives ask you if you’re asexual. You reply by stuffing your mouth with pumpkin pie.

12. You get dressed and dolled up for only one person now. You.

13. Your Netflix queue becomes full of your favorite crime shows instead of romantic films.

14. If you aren’t listening to your girl Beyonce, Taylor Swift is your EVERYTHING.

15. You find yourself spending way more time with your friends than you ever did when you were in a relationship.

16. You actually take time to call your parents now.

17. The hobbies you put aside when you were in relationships are now pushed forward, and you find yourself spending your quality time doing things you actually enjoy.

18. You start focusing on yourself more than ever before. And you start loving yourself. More than he ever did or could.

19. You remember how much fun it is to flirt with boys at the bar without any consequences.

20. You discover how much fun it is to hook up with guys just for the hell of it.

21. You love more with your tastebuds than your heart now. Yes, to extra chocolate, and yes to seconds.

22. You decide to delete all of your dating apps because they are a definite waste of your time.

23. When guys check you out now, you automatically assume there’s something on your teeth.

24. The best cuddle partner you can find is your stuffed animal you’ve had since you were five. To be honest, it’s probably the cutest partner you’ve spooned with.

25. “Sex And The City” becomes your bible.

26. People assume you spend miserable nights crying and whispering “forever alone” to yourself. Truthfully, you’re having the best damn time of your life. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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