You can’t ever forget a first love, but you can let go of them eventually. You can’t ever forget a loved one who passed away, but you can eventually continue on with your life and heal. I wish there could be a magical spell to stop all the pain and memories, but that would be too easy wouldn’t it?
I know the grief that is felt after loss. It covers you like a blanket and threatens to choke you with its enormous weight. It follows you around and tries to trip you as soon as you get back on your feet. It haunts you in your sleep and you can’t even run away from it in your dreams.
But, what I have come to find is that grief isn’t your enemy. Your rejection of grief is. Too many times, we try to hide from our deep emotions and try to make a shield to protect ourselves from them. But too many times, this is the wrong thing to do. We are only hurting ourselves more by continuing to ignore our hurt.
The first and final step to let go of someone is to grab onto grief’s hand and let it take you on a ride. Just be prepared, it is going to hurt like hell. You will cry. You will scream. You will hurt and you will ache. But it only will go up from here. It will only get better from this starting point.
You will have days where the nostalgia returns and you can’t even breathe because you miss them so much. You will have days where you just want to sit in bed and cry staring at the letters they wrote to you. But, you will also have days where you wake up clear headed and nothing reminds you of them. You will have days where you hear their name, and you don’t even flinch.
The more you realize that it’s okay to feel what you are feeling, the more you heal. The more you walk beside grief instead of running from it, the more you heal. So, instead of ignoring grief, shake its hand and greet your sadness with open arms. Don’t expect to be healed in a week. Don’t expect to be cured in a month. Just expect gaining love and respect for yourself as you step into this journey without looking back.