The Real Reason You Can’t Depend On Your Significant Other For Happiness

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It happens to the best of us. And to most of us.

Whether we like it or not, for many young women, their boyfriends or girlfriends become their priority. Their significant other becomes all they think or talk about. And their significant other eventually replaces their friends.

I wish I could say I escaped this “my boyfriend is my everything” disease, but alas, I was no different.

When you get into a relationship especially if it’s a first love, you are literally consumed in all things them. If you are not with them, you want to chat about them, and if you can’t talk about them, you want to write about them. And I get it. I understand. It’s exciting to have a significant other. It’s exciting to be in love. And it’s easy to spend more time with them than the other people in your life. But, please do me a favor and think about what you are doing.

I remember being seventeen and ditching my friends just to spend more time with my significant other. I remember not thinking it was that big of a deal. I remember being blissfully happy while my friends felt rejected. I remember being completely unaware of their feelings because I was so caught up in mine.

But I also remember being twenty and heartbroken. And who helped me get through it? My friends. Who wiped my tears away? My friends. Who let me talk my ear off about how sad I was? My friends. And where was he? Not there.

Never ever take advantage of your friendships. Because life will happen to you. Things won’t work out like you want them to. Relationships will end. And you think you will have nothing left. But your friends are going to be there. And that is really something to have friends who will lift you up when you can’t lift yourself up. So, do your present and future self a favor: make your friendships your top priority.

When I was twenty, I realized that I had been making a boy my world. But a boy should never be your world. Because at the end of the day you only have yourself and your friendships (and lots of wine). TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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