To All Girls Who Settle

It’s so easy to do. And it happens all the time. You crave instant gratification and attention and you finally meet a boy who gives it to you. You want compliments and the perks of having a boyfriend, but is this really a good idea? Maybe it will be. But it also may not be.

The relationship or whatever it is, is fine at first.

He treats you ok and buys you drinks on Saturday nights. He tells you you’re pretty in your new little black dress and kisses you on the forehead at night. You smile at him when he isn’t looking and sometimes lose your train of thought when he looks at you. You start telling your friends you think you are falling for him. You fall deep. And you think, “this is the boy I’m going to change”, or “this is the boy who is going to love me”. A word of advice, you can never change someone and you shouldn’t have to want or need to if they are a good match for you. If someone is really that someone for you, you would never dream of changing them.

As months go by, you see yourself with him in an apartment or maybe in a little house on the countryside. You visualize your life together and even think about which café you will go to on Sundays for brunch. You think he sees himself with you too because it is so clear and so right in your mind.

But, it isn’t right.

Soon, there’s this little voice in your head that starts getting louder. It used to be a quiet, subtle voice questioning his wardrobe mishaps or his choice of beer, but now it has moved on to the real questions. Is he even remotely interested in what interests you? When was the last time he asked how your day was? You know he wants you, but does he love you? Does he even like you?

The hardest thing about settling for someone is only getting half of what you need and want. It’s a whirlwind of emotions and you can’t help but get caught up in his eyes every damn time you look at him. But you’re getting caught up in the wrong places and caught up in the wrong eyes. Here comes the crashing and burning end.

You try so hard to be perfect for him and to be what he is looking for but deep down you know, you are never going to be that person for him. Deep down, you know you deserve more. You deserve to be in love and to not be scared to fall. You deserve someone who asks you how your day was and to hold you when it wasn’t all that great. You deserve someone who can look at you dead in the eye and whisper, “I love you” without a trace of hesitation.

You’re going to get it someday, you really will.

Getting hung up on Mr. Maybes’ will not only leave you hurt, it will leave you with only Ben & Jerry to console you.

So, learn from your mistakes and know that you are stronger than you think you are.
You are a diamond, and you need to toss that pebble back in the creek. TC mark

Lauren Jarvis-Gibson

For more poetry and writing follow me on Instagram!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
or believing all the lies.
You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

“It’s just wondrous how every time I go through some emotional trauma, your posts are so relatable and it gives me so much hope. I love the writing and the photos. It’s all a pleasure to read. I can’t thank you enough for it, really.” — DM from @ThoughtCatalog Instagram follower

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