So, you’ve decided to try dating after purposefully being single for… a while. Or maybe you’re toying with the idea of searching for that someone but haven’t made up your mind. Well, I’m here for you.
Whether you chose the single life to focus on your career, your hobbies, your mental health, or just falling in love with yourself, making the jump into the hot mess we call “dating” in 2019 is a Big Move.
This is for the girl who has carefully considered every move she’s made in her life, ensuring it will serve her and the people she loves. Jobs, cities, activities and more — they are all decisions that can be evaluated in black and white. There may be a pro and con list involved somewhere.
But dating is gray. It’s messy. Pros can also be cons.
And, spoiler alert: It sucks, girl.
In the age of digital dating, there are so many options at our fingertips. It is easy to get lost in the complexity of it all. And while it may seem as though everyone else has easily fallen into bliss, love is as elusive as it is beautiful for many of us.
Well, I’m here to say: Keep going! We can be each other’s cheerleaders.
So many situations are going to discourage you.
You haven’t gotten a match on your dating app for a week? Be patient, the universe is carefully selecting your next suitor.
That guy ghosted you after a week of flirty texting? You deserve someone who will come through for you.
That guy you’ve practically been dating for months decided he just wasn’t ready to make it official? You deserve someone who can commit.
You went on a few dates with a perfectly nice guy but you know he’s not the one? Don’t feel guilty. Don’t lead him on. Be kind and move on.
You’re used to getting what you want with hard work and perseverance, but grit won’t necessarily get you love. It may even feel like you want it too badly, that you’re trying too hard. Don’t get discouraged. Don’t hold on to things that aren’t meant for you.
We were all blessed with true wisdom when Lizzo sang, “I’m my own soulmate. I know how to love me. I know that I’m always gonna hold me down.”
You love yourself. You can hold your own. Now you’re ready to let someone in.
Remember: You don’t have to be any less YOU to find someone who will love everything you are and everything you hope to be someday.
You deserve a relationship that both sets your soul on fire and makes you feel cozily at home. Just wait for it.