Don’t be afraid to lose people who weren’t down for you anyway.
You will eventually lose people that are jealous of you. You will eventually lose people that use you. You will eventually lose people that are negatively impacting you. And you will eventually lose people that do not support you.
I chose to keep a safe distance from certain people, and yes, I am grieving that. However, I will grieve that for as long as I need to. Becoming comfortable with solitude is a long journey, albeit a worthwhile one, despite some bad days.
Sometimes you have to walk away from everything you thought you needed to find everything you never knew you needed. And you are now, more than ever, more vigilant and grown to recognize who no longer serves you with a healthy purpose. It’s okay to outgrow people; you should never be made to feel bad for doing what is best for you. Let go of what wants to leave as long as you don’t lose yourself. Solitude is a skill that can never be exploited, and once mastered, it will serve you a lifetime.
If you’re feeling unsure about whether to trust someone, the best thing you can do is to just trust yourself. You can tell who your safe people are when you don’t hold your breath around them. You are the best version of yourself, too, and you will be proud of the person you are around your safe people. How we act is far more influenced by the people who we are around. If you surround yourself with shitty people, then you’re likely to act like a shitty person, then blame yourself afterwards because solitarily, that’s not who you are.
People who are insecure often put others down with the intention to feel somewhat superior to those that they envy. Those who are miserable with themselves do not see your confidence as brilliance and grace, but instead, intimidation. Rather than trying to better themselves, they will try to vandalize the things that make them feel inferior in order to make themselves feel better about themselves. Instead, they just resent themselves for this too. You should be able to talk to your friends in confidence without them sabotaging you, but they will choose their bystanders strategically when criticizing you.
There’s a difference between giving up and putting yourself first. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel like you’re giving up when you’re doing what is best for you.
It’s okay to feel sad after making the right decision—some of the best decisions are the hardest. Someday you will be surrounded with your special people, and everything else around you will make sense.
In the end, we only fight for the things that really matter, and for everything else there is an excuse. Forget about those things that you have lost, because what is coming is better than what is already gone. Things change and friends leave. Focus more on the few who stay.