When it comes to the penis, some people claim that big is best. Others are afraid of too-long schlongs. And then there are the incessant jokes about guys with small packages. And you know what? I’m sick of the stereotypes, judgment and bad-talk about the size of a man’s john.
He has zero control over what he was endowed with, and I personally don’t find it fair that those with small penises are made to feel like less of a man. Because believe me, they aren’t; in fact, sometimes they’re better in the sack than guys with a third leg. So I’m going to do a little compare and contrast based on four common sizes and shapes, exploring the good and bad of each.
Of course, there are other shapes not mentioned, plus the size and shape of a woman’s vagina plays a role in her satisfaction. Sure, we all have our preferences and that’s great, but it’s not just size that matters.
1. The Burrito
Some guys who have burritos present their package like a “ta-da!” They pull their gigantic slab of meat out of their jeans, not realizing the instant fear that they’re inducing in their soon-to-be partner’s mind as she wonders, “Could this thing rip me in half?”
The good: It fills you up completely, creating major pressure and stimulation in all areas.
The bad: The guy may be overly proud of his big guy, making it so that he can be too aggressive with it and forgetting that, like taffy, vaginas need some time to warm up and stretch out to avoid tearing. It can be so big that it simply hurts or that you’re too afraid to even try at all.
2. The Banana
Like a banana on its back, a banana penis is curved slightly upward (think of a pointer finger giving someone the “come hither” signal).
The good: Because it’s curved up, it has the opportunity to constantly rub against the upper wall in the vagina, which also happens to be where the G-spot is supposed to be. That constant rubbing can make for very good sex, even if the guy has poor technique and is pretty much clueless as to what he’s doing.
The bad: Many guys with this type of curve can initially be insecure about their turned-up shape, even apologizing for its misshapen form. But there’s no need to apologize. Looks don’t always matter, and you’ve got natural skill you didn’t even know about.
3. The Hook
Similar but opposite of the Banana, the Hook is a penis that’s hooked with a curve that points down like a flamingo’s beak.
The good: Doggy-style is awesome with a hook because it’s perfectly hitting your G-spot. There are also several fun and exciting positions that feel extra nice, like backward bull-riding (girl on top, facing his feet).
The bad: In traditional missionary position, since the pecker is pointing down it isn’t going to rub you the right way when it comes to your G-spot. No matter how he thrusts, at what angle or speed, he naturally bows away.
4. The Pocket Rocket
He may be small, but don’t underestimate him. Remember: many powerful, successful, and sexy men are diminutive (Tom Cruise, Mel Gibson, Napoleon Bonaparte and Benito Mussolini).
The good: These guys know that they have big competition out there, and they’ve often taken that challenge to task by perfecting their techniques, including honing their skill at head. Men with little guys can be as good at moving their man as any battery-powered pocket rocket.
Because falling out can often occur, missionary and doggy-style are generally the best bet positions, which can make for even more intimate sex, including lots of kissing and full body contact. Men with this penis are also much more pleasant to give oral sex to. Your mouth won’t be nearly as sore after, which allows you to do it longer and more often.
The bad: The little guy can also fall out of you if conditions get too slick or positions too peculiar. When this happens, don’t freak out or be embarrassed, just slip him back in. Some chicks do like the sensation of being completely filled up, which you simply won’t get with a Pocket Rocket.
Now, with all of that in mind, can you really say that it’s just the size and shape of a penis that matters when it comes to the effectiveness of bringing you to orgasm? The fact is, some sizes won’t ever give you a chance to bring you to orgasm.