How do we know if someone is right for us? I am sure we have all heard the saying, “If you love someone set them free. If they come back they’re yours; if they don’t, they never were.” What is the truth behind this though?
Love can be hard. Love can be painful. Love can be euphoric. It can be all three of these things at different points in a relationship and so, accepting these very different truths is an essential part in loving.
Why does love need to be hard? Is it possible for love to be easy, ever? Or does that just mean it’s not true love. Love is hard because it makes us grow. It forces us to confront our inner demons to demonstrate a vulnerability that only being in love can cause. The friction that two lovers feel comes from the true unity of two different persons.
Life experiences are a funny thing; with the mental models we build for ourselves they can either serve as values, as wisdom, or as barriers. With the multitude of experiences one can have, no two stories will be the same. When we are sharing our life with a significant other, these stories need to find a way to mold together. Without this adaptation to one another’s life experiences and the mindsets or actions they bring with them, there can be no success. Why you may not always agree, you need to be able to understand, listen, and try to meet each other half way. And this can be hard. Sometimes we are not ready to accept our truths.
Without this choice, as difficult as it might be, we are putting an end to love before it can even begin.