Why I Never Want To Fall In Love

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I never want to fall in love.

And contrary to what people may start commenting, it has nothing to do with fear of being hurt. I’ve been hurt before and I’m sure I will be again. Experiencing hurt is part of life. You can be hurt by anybody; love has nothing to do with it. Sure, maybe somebody you love can hurt you even more, but it’s really all the same.

I never want to fall in love because from my outside perspective, people in love can’t think about anything else.

They’re blissfully happy, which is fine, if not a little sickening (what can I say, I’m a cynical gal). But then, something will happen with their partner that makes them unbearable.

He’s liking pictures of that slut on Instagram. She’s too clingy. He hasn’t texted back in an hour. She’s running late again. He doesn’t like FaceTiming. Her roommates are annoying. He’s still talking to his ex. Her mom hates me.

Feel free to swap the genders there, it doesn’t really matter.

Nobody can ever be content with his or her person of choice. And that’s normal. No relationship is truly on a perfect track all the time. Whether it’s romantic or otherwise, that’s the nature of being human and connecting with another human.

What I can’t handle about love is all of these complaints, coupled with never taking advice from the people you whine to. If you’re that unhappy, walk away. Or maybe you can’t, because they love you so much, or you just know that they’re the one for you. Guess what? I don’t care anymore.

I firmly believe love makes you crazy. Love makes you do stupid things, like obsessively refresh social media and consistently bail on your friends. And much like with the defensive men who can’t handle the feminist movement, I’m sure some of you lovers out there are screaming “Not All People In Love!” But for every person who manages to stay the same as they were before, there are at least five more who are different, changing their habits and lives due to their partners.

Sometimes different is good. Love is supposed to change you after all, isn’t it? Lift you up and make you a better person and whatnot. And if you aren’t changing who you are, maybe you aren’t in love.

I’m kidding of course. The professionals would say that a healthy relationship enhances your life and well being, rather than changing it or making you feel like you need to change.

But if that’s the case, then why do so many people change when they’re in love? In a world when there’s so many different people and different ways to fall in and out of love, how does anybody really know what’s right and normal for a relationship or the people in it?

All I know is I don’t want to fall in love. I don’t want to risk dropping my life for somebody else. I don’t want to risk pushing my friends to the side for somebody I’ve known for a lot less time (even if it feels like I’ve known them forever). I don’t want to risk being that person who is jealous over every little thing because I love someone too damn much. I don’t want to risk my online persona becoming a dedicated shrine to my relationship with somebody else, instead of being about who I am. I don’t want to risk my interests to all be defined by “we” and “us” and “ours.” I don’t want to risk fighting over forgotten anniversaries or unwashed dishes or families that don’t approve.

I’ll take my chances with everything else, but please, don’t let me fall in love. TC mark

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