You’re Not Gonna Meet Your Future Boyfriend On Tinder

To all the ladies looking for boyfriend material on Tinder:

He will never be your boyfriend. This may come as a shock, but there are other girls on this app. Girls that are probably prettier than you. You are not the first person he has messaged. And you are definitely not the last. He will most likely use the same line every time. Nick with the abs is very hot, I totally agree with you, but if you think he is dateable because you both swiped right…

Yeah right. Every guy, I don’t need statistics to prove this statement, literally every guy on Tinder is looking for an easy hook up. Some of them may be willing to take you out to dinner once, twice if they are desperate, but only because they are still expecting you to put out. Maybe he will stick with you until he finds another girl on Tinder to meet up with and then he will start all over. You are not special just because he swiped right. You are not special because he messaged you (he just sent that same message to three other girls). Seriously, he could be Brad Pitt, I don’t care, don’t fall for it. This app is so shady, so shallow it’s unbelievable. Oh, you both think the other is cute based on five pictures? Oh, and you both like Eminem? Say no more, it’s time to get hitched, don’t you think?

Ladies, we can do better. So much better than an app where you pick your five best pictures and then a dickhead with nothing better to do swipes right if you have big boobs or a decent smile, and left if you have a big nose or crooked teeth. Save yourself the embarrassment and please just go meet guys out in public. It’s way less awkward and way more meaningful if you say hello to a dude you find attractive in person instead of behind your best Facebook picture.

You deserve a guy who doesn’t need a social networking app to meet you. A guy who is willing to leave his house to meet new people, no handheld device needed. A guy who isn’t constantly looking for someone sexier. Nick with the five shirtless pictures on his profile is not going to be your next boyfriend. Maybe your next “first date” hook up, if you are into that kind of thing. But you deserve better.

Sign off Tinder, put your phone down and go meet real people. You don’t need a keyboard to have a conversation, I promise.

You will thank me one day.