This Is How You Date After A Toxic Relationship

couple looking at each other on rooftop
God & Man

You finally found the courage to leave a toxic relationship

You finally had enough and left

You finally stood your ground

And then you gave yourself time to heal

You gave yourself time to grieve from the past

You allowed yourself to be free from the pain

You allowed yourself to finally be open to being vulnerable with someone else

You start to slowly let someone new in your life

You start to see them in a new light

And yet the possibility of something good coming from allowing them into your life seems to challenge your ideas on what is a healthy relationship

Because somehow they are so different from your past partner

Somehow they are so different from the shadows of past partners who couldn’t love you the way you needed.

Who couldn’t appreciate you when they had you

And yet this new partner has appreciated every second with you since your eyes met

And yet you can’t help but place them in the shadows of your past partner

And yet they don’t fit into how you thought they would act based on the script of what you had experienced in the past.

Because for some reason you placed your new partner into the shadows of someone who you left long ago

And as much as you try,

Shadows of the past still remain in your present

You envision this new partner to act in a certain way based on lovers who couldn’t love you the way you needed; who couldn’t comprehend even what love is

And yet you are with someone new, just when you think a storm is about to hit,

you prepare yourself for them to be the actor in the script that occurred repeatedly over years and years

You prepare yourself for the script to go a certain way

You prepare yourself to apologize for things you didn’t even do

You prepare yourself for the blow up

You prepare yourself for the agony that is to surely follow.

But then you realize that they aren’t playing in the script of a role they never wanted.

They aren’t the same as your past.

They aren’t a shadow of a past lover

They are a breath of fresh air

And they can’t be boxed into the categories of past relationships that never should have even existed.

You realize that this person isn’t playing a role, they are being authentically, unapologetically themselves.

There are no dramatic scenes

No suspense

There is only logic

There is only clarity

There is only you two

And the possibility of happiness when you allow someone new into your heart. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer and bad dancer navigating through life with her words

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