You finally found the courage to leave a toxic relationship
You finally had enough and left
You finally stood your ground
And then you gave yourself time to heal
You gave yourself time to grieve from the past
You allowed yourself to be free from the pain
You allowed yourself to finally be open to being vulnerable with someone else
You start to slowly let someone new in your life
You start to see them in a new light
And yet the possibility of something good coming from allowing them into your life seems to challenge your ideas on what is a healthy relationship
Because somehow they are so different from your past partner
Somehow they are so different from the shadows of past partners who couldn’t love you the way you needed.
Who couldn’t appreciate you when they had you
And yet this new partner has appreciated every second with you since your eyes met
And yet you can’t help but place them in the shadows of your past partner
And yet they don’t fit into how you thought they would act based on the script of what you had experienced in the past.
Because for some reason you placed your new partner into the shadows of someone who you left long ago
And as much as you try,
Shadows of the past still remain in your present
You envision this new partner to act in a certain way based on lovers who couldn’t love you the way you needed; who couldn’t comprehend even what love is
And yet you are with someone new, just when you think a storm is about to hit,
you prepare yourself for them to be the actor in the script that occurred repeatedly over years and years
You prepare yourself for the script to go a certain way
You prepare yourself to apologize for things you didn’t even do
You prepare yourself for the blow up
You prepare yourself for the agony that is to surely follow.
But then you realize that they aren’t playing in the script of a role they never wanted.
They aren’t the same as your past.
They aren’t a shadow of a past lover
They are a breath of fresh air
And they can’t be boxed into the categories of past relationships that never should have even existed.
You realize that this person isn’t playing a role, they are being authentically, unapologetically themselves.
There are no dramatic scenes
There is only logic
There is only clarity
There is only you two
And the possibility of happiness when you allow someone new into your heart.