Let Love In (Even When You’re Trying To Avoid It)

couple in field
Montse Monmo

When you are intentionally trying to hide from intimacy

Trying not to fall for someone

Trying not to let someone in

And you’re trying to learn to be alone

Trying to learn how to be single and enjoy it

When you’re finally learning to put yourself first

You’re starting to become comfortable by yourself

And then someone comes into your life

and starts to make you feel things

Starts to crack you open

Start to gently break down the walls that you built up

The walls that you intentionally built up high

The walls that meant to try to protect you

Meant to try to shelter you

Meant to heal you from the past lovers that hurt you

And then someone comes in and cracks you wide open

And you start to feel the cracks in the walls you built up high

You start to feel something again

It makes you feel like you want to run

Like you want to hide

Like you want to make them leave

Like you want to intentionally try to do things to ruin this feeling

Because you can’t even imagine this working out

You can’t imagine someone getting close to you again

Someone getting so close to you again

And allowing someone into your heart again

because there is nothing scarier than allowing someone into your life again

It might feel as if you want to run away

But you need to remember

Why shelter yourself behind the walls you built

Why prevent yourself from being cracked open

Why shield yourself from feeling something again

When there is the possibility of something good happening from it

Whether it be for a few days, or a few months or years

Please don’t stay hidden behind the walls you built from past lovers

From past lovers who weren’t able to love you the way you needed

Please don’t remain sheltered from the possibility of something incredible happening

From something that might make you feel happy

Something that might make you joyful and peaceful and amazed all at once

Please don’t let the world harden your heart and keep you hidden behind the walls you built

Because you are afraid of being open again

Nothing ever wonderful happened from being content in life

From being content being hidden and sheltered and stagnant in this life

Allow yourself to break free from the walls you built up so high

Allow yourself to let someone else into your world

Into your heart

And into your life again Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Writer and bad dancer navigating through life with her words

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