I heal my broken heart after months and months of feeling broken and lost.
After days spent moving through the mediocrity of what the day to day life is without that certain someone who you got so used to being a part of your life.
After nights spent waking up having nightmares reminiscing about what our life was like together, I am finally learning how to heal.
I heal by learning how to be alone. When having the comfort of someone sleeping beside you night after night suddenly feels like something you could never be comfortable doing without them. Night after night in the months that pass, you suddenly realize that there is comfort in having the whole bed to yourself, with fresh sheets and pillows to soothe your soul. Learning to be alone and finding comfort in yourself and your solitude is how you heal.
You heal by understanding that you actually can do this thing called life on your own.
I heal my heart through the help of my friends. They help heal my heart through months and months of confusion, of late night texts, of being there on hard days and constantly reminding me that I will be happy again.
I heal by hugging my friends tightly and lovingly. I hold them and tell them how much they mean to me.
I heal by talking to my friends on days and nights when I try to hide my feelings and they can tell something is wrong. Even in far away cities and a whole other country my friends can understand and hear my silent cries from afar. They are there for me in the middle of the night, in the wake of the morning and on the anniversaries of days I wish I could forget- they help me heal.
My friends help me understand that it is okay to feel anger, to feel hurt, to feel insecure and to allow myself to feel happy, to allow myself to feel joy again without the arms of another person.
I heal my heart by dating again. I heal by finally accepting that I am worthy of happiness with another person. I am worthy of being held by another person again.
I heal by being vulnerable with someone else and by allowing myself to be open about my feelings for them. I heal by being open about my past relationships that broke me, being comfortable in my own insecurities and allowing someone new in.
I heal by staying up until 3am with someone new. I heal by holding onto them and telling them the secrets of myself that I had hidden for so long. I heal by not putting up with bullshit from people who I know do not deserve me. I heal my heart by refusing to settle for someone who does not see my worth.
I heal by accepting that maybe I am willing to be broken again. I heal by finally allowing someone into my life and caring about them and holding them and sharing my world with them. I heal by realizing that maybe allowing someone new in is worth being broken again for. I would take having my heart broken time and time again if it meant finally feeling something again with someone new. Being open and vulnerable and accepting another person into your life is how you heal your broken heart.
You heal by being vulnerable.
You heal by allowing yourself to be happy.
You deserve to be happy again. You deserve to feel whole again.
You deserve to heal.