A Letter To Myself On The Day I Should Have Walked Down The Aisle

And to all the other women brave enough to break off an engagement

I cancelled my wedding nine months ago and broke off a nine-year relationship; I should have been walking down the aisle next week and can’t help but feel uncomfortable about my decision. One of the hardest and most important decisions in life is choosing who to be with. Will you be brave enough to not settle?

Today will be hard for you. You were supposed to be wearing that white dress you picked out. The one you tried on so many times and fell in love with. You were supposed to be waking up with your girlfriends by your side. The ones you asked to stand by your side. The ones who continue to stand by your side.
Today you were supposed to be pampered with gifts and loved ones around you. You were supposed to hold onto the bouquet of flowers you picked out. The ones you handpicked that would be the perfect shade and the perfect flowers to match your ceremony theme. The ones you spent hours picking out. The ones he never even cared about.

Today you were supposed to walk down the aisle with your father. The walk you were supposed to take with your father to that song that you had already picked out. That one song that you still can’t listen to. The one song that he didn’t even know about.

Today was supposed to be a day that you joined hands in marriage with the man who was supposed to be your partner. The one who was supposed to make you the happiest but somehow managed to make you so depressed that you didn’t even know you could get so low. The one person who you had told so many times that was hurting you, but he didn’t stop.

Today was supposed to be your wedding day but you decided it wasn’t going to be. Today wasn’t going to be the day that you would regret for the rest of your life. Today wasn’t going to be the day that so many of your friends and family knew shouldn’t happen, but could never muster the courage to say it aloud. Today wasn’t going to be the day that you would start your life with someone you knew was not right for you.

Today you chose your life, you didn’t settle for it. You chose to be single. You chose this life. You chose to say “no, this is unacceptable.” You chose a different kind of love. You chose a life you were proud to call your own. You chose today to be the day that you were proud of your decision.

The best decision you could make for yourself, for your future and for your unborn children who will thank you for choosing a partner that is right for you.

Today will not define you. Today you will celebrate the life that you chose and didn’t settle for.