25 Old Timey Professional Sports Player Names, Probably

Flickr / Jeremy Brooks
Flickr / Jeremy Brooks

1. Don-bob Jimmersam – Basketball

2. Henry Defucking Greghorm – Lacrosse

3. Casio “Walter” Crestwell – Skedaddling

4. Jeepers Van Leejwen – Tennis

5. Namanth Fielding – Two-handed Tennis

6. Beelzebub Jones – Syphilitic Sailing

7. Attaboy Misogynist – Horseshoes

8. Baloney Raymond – Baseball

9. Eugene Barfsmith – Barn Punching

10. Robert Applesauce – Swimming

11. Speculum Kennedy – Hockey

12. I.V.K. Baldhead – Track & field

13. Johnny Johnny – Gayballs

14. Nards Flannagan – Football

15. Chef Kitten – Boxing

16. Mickey Bareback – Contact chess

17. Christopher Ghoul – Hoop rolling

18. Numbskull Montgomery – Fisting

19. James Crotch – Tonsil Hockey

20. Aijkwxiudymkil “Tommy” Schimdt – Cross-country jiving

21. CharlieGeorge Killkettle – Professional cigar-biting

22. Monty Applebaum – Dabbling

23. Dander McBrible – Haranguing

24. Sensible Fredmont – Dominos on an upside down trashcan

25. Dick Crossbones – Heavyweight red rover TC mark

Like Thought Catalog on Facebook today!

Related

More From Thought Catalog

blog comments powered by Disqus