40 Substitutes For Limes To Help You Through The Lime Shortage

Flickr/Troy Trolley
Flickr/Troy Trolley

There is or was a lime shortage. There may be one again. Or it continues. No one knows for sure, because limes are the fourth most mysterious thing in the entire world after the human mind, Kevin Spacey, and socks.  Despite these mysteries we must forge on. Like the song says you put the lime in the coconut.

We need something to put in the coconut, so we can then drink them both together—because honestly without the lime, it’s just the coconut, which is basically the fruit version of a Tupperware full of semen.

Together we will get through these troubling limes times. As Scar from The Lion King once said—before those dirtbags, the Boys Scouts, ripped him off—“Be Prepared.”

Here are 40 fantastic substitutes for limes.

1. Lemons

2. Oranges

3. Crumbled up frog

4. Small grapefruit

5. Large olive

6. Moldy peach

7. Tennis ball

8. Citron

9. Pomelo

10. Koosh ball

11. Most of the planets in the model solar system you stole from that science fair

12. Limericks

13. Lime-shaped Time Magazines

14. Tangerines

15. Clementines

16. A baby’s globe

17. Limestone cut to resemble a lime

18. Clump of thyme

19. Green lint

20. Shamrocks

21. A cursed jade scorpion

22. A sleeping caterpillar

23. Glow-in-the-dark beer pong balls

24. Michael “Mike” Wazowski

25. Kiwi

26. Moss

27. Ninja Turtle Testicle

28. Kumquat

29. Cyclops’s eyeball if that Cyclops has a green eye or is wearing a green contact

30. Easter egg

31. Giant Green Peanut M&M

32. Fistful of Iron Supplements

33. Avocado

34. Wad of Sour Apple Bubblicious

35. Old Sublime CD

36. Bud Light Lime

37. Tostitos with Lime

38. Limelight: the stage-lighting instrument, the sensation of being famous, or the 1990s New York nightclub filled with drugs that gave you the sensation of being famous

39. Congealed residue from Slimer

40. A gallbladder TC mark


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