I think it would be nice to kiss you. I’m probably not supposed to tell you that. I’m definitely not supposed to tell everyone that. Maybe I should be writing this anonymously.
Desire is a funny thing. Desire is a second drink. Desire is a salted rim. Desire is fluid.
Let’s go to the movies in Bryant Park. I mean, it doesn’t have to be Bryant Park; it’s just that they’re playing my favorite film this year. It’s my all-time favorite film, starring my all-time favorite actress, written by my all-time favorite writer, who also wrote my all time favorite book; what are the odds?
Let’s sit on a blanket and not touch. Let’s not touch like when you’re in high school and closeted. When all your friends play with each other’s hair, but you don’t play with anyone’s hair because if your gay skin accidentally hits their ungay skin, then they’ll know for sure. Then everyone will know for sure. I don’t know anything for sure. Except that I think it would be nice to kiss you.
In the movie, there is a scene where a character says the line: “By the authority vested in me by Kaiser William II, I pronounce you man and wife. Proceed with the execution.” Isn’t that just slightly intriguing? Doesn’t it pique your interest? Aren’t you even the littlest bit curious?
I mean, aren’t you even the littlest bit curious?
The actor in the movie is not my favorite actor. He’s great, but he’s just not my favorite. He’s also in this other movie. That other movie is the all-time favorite film of many, many people, but it’s just not my favorite. In that other movie—which is great, but just not my favorite—there is a song called “As Time Goes By.”
You probably know the song. It is very famous. My dad used to sing it all the time. He also used to practice his baseball swing in the air a lot during conversations. I sing the song to myself sometimes. I’m happy to have inherited this trait over the baseball swing thing. The first line of the song is: “You must remember this; a kiss is just a kiss.”
Well, actually that isn’t the first line of the song at all. That is the first line of the chorus, when the song was originally written in 1931. However, it was the first line of the song that the piano player sang in the film—the one that is not my favorite—when it was shot in 1942. The film was very popular and the film-version of the song also became very popular, so for all intents and purposes, that is now the first line of the song.
I promise I won’t talk about any of this on the blanket.
We can just sit there and watch the movie. We can just sit there and not touch. We can just not touch for the whole movie. We can just not touch so hard. But after the movie, I’m going to suggest we go for a drink. And once we finish that drink, I’m going to suggest we have a second. Not because I’m thirsty.
Because I think it would be nice to kiss you.